Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Some people say that most of people have dreams which are innately selfish and therefore advice to "follow your dream" should underpin more on selecting worthy goals, while others might assert that people should follow their heart irrespective of whether dreams that they want to pursue are selfish or selfless. In my opinion, i believe latter choice that dream should not be based on weighing worthiness of them. I feel this way for two reasons.
To begin with, journey of persons to convert their dreams to become reality involves some level of selfishness in its path either explicitly expressed or implicitly conveyed. And thus not picking a goal based just upon norms of selfishness sounds absurd. We are part of species that has been competing with one another for even trivial things from its start, and this relentless competition has taught us that you would have to walk over certain number of people in order to reach destined place. Take an example of SAT exam conducted in USA for undergraduate admission each year,and there are students who want to join top universities, do you think students help each other in examination center to score higher? answer is no since competition limits the seat for admission and colloquial saying goes that this exam breaks several friendships. This drive of inherent selfishness is the only thing that makes difference between the one who get success and who fail.
Secondly, when lot of attention is placed on delibrately sitting for days and weighing pros and cons of various goals and dream that lie in front then it augments indecisiveness and thereby makes people to vacillate from one goal choice, adjudicate its worth, to another. This can be easily seen among people in stable jobs with moderate income, and the trend that follows is that these people when try to teach lessons of choosing stable jobs to their children then some of their children who get swayed by this idea keep meandering from one career profession to another. And even in this school of thought slefishness to remain stable is the driving force and thus saying that worthy goals demands selfishness seems absurd.
In conclusion, lucid thinking to pursue what your heart desire and not giving a lot of attention towards worth is the only way one can achieve what he or she desires.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
Some people say that most of people have dreams which are innately selfish ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 338, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...are selfish or selfless. In my opinion, i believe latter choice that dream should...
^
Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...el this way for two reasons. To begin with, journey of persons to convert thei...
^^
Line 3, column 581, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...SA for undergraduate admission each year,and there are students who want to join top...
^^^^
Line 3, column 717, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Answer
... in examination center to score higher? answer is no since competition limits the seat...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 727, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...ation center to score higher? answer is no since competition limits the seat for a...
^^
Line 5, column 433, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to stable'
Suggestion: to stable
...e when try to teach lessons of choosing stable jobs to their children then some of the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 494, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...children then some of their children who get swayed by this idea keep meandering ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, while, i feel, in conclusion, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1939.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 390.0 442.535393258 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97179487179 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54076688894 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.587179487179 0.4932671777 119% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 704.065955056 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 23.0359550562 130% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 84.6963249239 60.3974514979 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.153846154 118.986275619 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0 23.4991977007 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.07692307692 5.21951772744 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285019830484 0.243740707755 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0880114312645 0.0831039109588 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0935461381537 0.0758088955206 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165244716866 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128827828576 0.0667264976115 193% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.1392134831 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.2143820225 125% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.