Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
Popular philosopher and sociologist, John Locke is popularly known for his summary of human nature where he said "the state of nature is short, cruel and brutish". It is upon this premise that I support the claim that emphasis should be placed on choosing worthy goals, instead of encouraging young people to follow their selfish dreams. I will expatiate my position in two points:
Firstly, having young people pick worthy goals that have the potential to help humanity in the long run. This is because having goals to help the human race will build a sense of responsibility in these people. For example, a youth who has a knack for music can be encouraged to become a music research who will look into the ways in which music can be used as therapeutic agent instead of 'following his dreams' of becoming a wealthy on-stage performer. Historically, the world has been changed by people who put humanity before their own personal dreams and not those who damn society and follow their dreams.
Secondly, the dreams of a young person may not remain the same forever. This is because young people are only concerned about themselves when they are still youthful. However, as one grows older and their sense of responsibility begins to develop, they may easily lose the zeal for what they taught was their dream. At this point, they realize they have squandered a huge chunk of their productive life. However, if they are encouraged to anchor their life's dreams on a goal bigger than their own selves, even when motivation is low, you remember the impact you actually want to make on the society, and how many people will be better off if you succeed. This will keep them going. It will also imbibe in them a huge sense of accomplishment after retirement.
One may want to argue that human dreams are not inherently selfish. However, I would argue that altruism is learned, and not inborn. Parents teach their kids to care to be nice, but if you leave those kids on their own, they will be selfish. Hence, dreams tend to follow the same line. Similarly, a contrary opinion could also be the capitalist belief that in following one's self-interest will ultimately ensure optimal solutions. However, i will gainsay this becaus this idea has not been proven in reality. Besides, why should we wait for an invisible hand to determine our societal outcomes when we can influence this optimality ourselves.
In conclusion, I would expect that if you have read up till this point, you would certainly agree with me that the claim that young people should be supported in pursuing lofty goals rather than following their dreams because these dreams are usually inherently selfish and may not contribute towards the improvement of human life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 441, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...tely ensure optimal solutions. However, i will gainsay this becaus this idea has ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, similarly, so, still, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.4196629213 185% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 33.0505617978 197% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2285.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 467.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89293361884 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54327529006 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52034261242 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 699.3 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.2345035964 60.3974514979 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.80952381 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2380952381 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.80952380952 5.21951772744 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.278145542514 0.243740707755 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0785117683053 0.0831039109588 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0786198035487 0.0758088955206 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168163789038 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546037399758 0.0667264976115 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.1392134831 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 100.480337079 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.