The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed our city government promised annual funding to help support its | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview.

"Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed, our city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Such developments indicate that the symphony can now succeed without funding from city government and we can eliminate that expense from next year's budget. Therefore, we recommend that the city of Grandview eliminate its funding for the Grandview Symphony from next year's budget. By doing so, we can prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The prompt suggests the idea of the budget planner to cancel the funding for the Grandview Symphony in order to prevent the deficit of the city's economy with several points mentioned for his argument. However, most of his assumptions are inflicted with logical flaws and so are need to be reasoned critically, These flawed premises of the arguments are mentioned here followed by necessary clarifications.

First of all, the planner believed that - the private contributions and concerts for the Grandview Symphony, although been doubled, are enough for not sanctioning the fund for the symphony. What if that does not stand true? It might be the case that because of the doubled attendees and concerts the cost of performing and other accessories have also doubled, or in fact multiplied several times than it was anticipated. For which even 200% increase in the private donations might not help to sustain the cost. Also, we can ignore the vulnerability of the contribution of the private contributors. There might not be any necessary limit below which no contribution can be considered and so the most of the contributions contributed are of very little monetory value that hardly meets the expenses of the symphony and as a resukt might require more of those. However, this possibility of low contributions can not be outplayes as the planner has not provided anough evidence to preclude the possibility. And if the possibility is happened to be true then then argument of the planner would be a flawed one.

Second assumption to consider is that - the planner believed that - the increment in the price of the ticket of the symphony will be enough to rescind the fund for the symphony. But what if the planner is excluding the possible external costs associated with the symphony that had also been increased recently? It might be the case that the symphony has changed some of their casts and musicians and has appointed some more prominent and renowned ones to perform; demand more salary than the previous ones. As a result, to meet the demand of the newly casts and also not to compensate that with the current viewers - the symphony has increased their ticket prices. It might not be true or might be as the planner did not mention anything which will help us to preclude the idea of inclusion of new casts in the symphony. And so, it can be excluded straight way and that is why - the inclusion, if true, might force the planner to reconsider his arguments.

Third of the premises from the planner is that - the seemingly developement of the symphony is evident and so does not require any further funding. But what if because of earning more audience and demand from their listeners - they are taking some necessary measures to meet those deamands to continue their popularity. Without meeting those demands the orchestra might loose the popularity and thereby might require the funding, provided that they are not necessarily in demand of it now. Also, it is in good shape in present that does not necessarily implies that it would remain until the next year. It might happen that the symphony had failed to meet the demands of their audience and so had been left out with only a few ones to earn some meager amount to run their perform. In that case - the government will have to provide the promised amount of fund. Also, there is no clear mention that - increment in audience, private contribution and hike in the price of the symphony's ticket can or have ensured the success of the orchestra. The good times of the symphony might not be the same after one year from now on and the prediction of the planner might not be happened to be true. In that case - the idea of cutting the allotted fund for the symphony will be a flawed one to consider, providing the vulnerability of the symphony in future prospect.

So, looking at all the aforementioned points and factors, it would be clearly stated that - the planner requires more evidence and proper answers to the asked questions in order to consider his arguments from various aspects; without which any conclusion will not be a concrete one to consider as the prompt is devoid of these.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Issue Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 39, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... First of all the planner believed that the private contributions and concerts f...
^^
Line 4, column 1035, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: then
... the possibility is happened to be true then then argument of the planner would be a flaw...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 38, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... Second assumption to consider is that the planner believed that the increment...
^^
Line 6, column 65, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sider is that the planner believed that the increment in the price of the ticket...
^^
Line 6, column 608, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...compensate that with the current viewers the symphony has increased their ticket ...
^^
Line 6, column 866, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be excluded straight way and that is why the inclusion if true might force the pl...
^^
Line 8, column 47, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of the premises from the planner is that the seemingly developement of the sympho...
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Line 8, column 223, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...audience and demand from their listeners they are taking some necessary measures ...
^^
Line 8, column 367, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[4]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...eting those demands the orchestra might loose the popularity and thereby might requir...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 785, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...amount to run their perform In that case the government will have to provide the ...
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Line 8, column 886, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fund Also there is no clear mention that increment in audience private contributi...
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Line 8, column 1185, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... not be happened to be true In that case the idea of cutting the allotted fund fo...
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Line 10, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... factors it would be clearly stated that the planner requires more evidence and p...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, second, so, then, third, in fact, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 38.0 19.5258426966 195% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.4196629213 217% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.3162921348 203% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 90.0 58.6224719101 154% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3388.0 2235.4752809 152% => OK
No of words: 712.0 442.535393258 161% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75842696629 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.16559078211 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59788639047 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.356741573034 0.4932671777 72% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1075.5 704.065955056 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 6.24550561798 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.2370786517 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 712.0 23.0359550562 3091% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 60.3974514979 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 3388.0 118.986275619 2847% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 712.0 23.4991977007 3030% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 96.0 5.21951772744 1839% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 7.80617977528 167% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 10.2758426966 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146625979975 0.243740707755 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146625979975 0.0831039109588 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0758088955206 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0918115125694 0.150359130593 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0384149771834 0.0667264976115 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 357.0 14.1392134831 2525% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -642.74 48.8420337079 -1316% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.92365168539 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 279.8 12.1743820225 2298% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.81 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 41.9 8.38706741573 500% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 133.0 100.480337079 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 56.0 11.8971910112 471% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 286.8 11.2143820225 2557% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 287.0 11.7820224719 2436% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, second, so, then, third, in fact, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments