The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the passage, the author tries to advertise the mozart school of music as a nice academy for youngsters to start the music lessons. Although it is hard to assess the educational quality in mozart school with this limited information, author's reasons for the advertisement as best music academy is logically flawed.
First, the author said the mozart school is good becasue they do not have enterance test for students. However, absence in assessment of ability cannot be a good academy for students who have different ability of music compared to the other stdents. if some student has far better, or far less ability, the education cannot be helpful for those students because the academy have to cover all different abilities rather than concentrate on each students.
author also wants to show the distinguished faculty members, but this arugument is not only to vague but does not mention about how they are distinguished. "The area" in the sentence can also be comprehended some specific and small area, such as a top in specific music academy.
Moreover, the final claim that author argued, which focused on the successed alumnies of the academy, is also weak support such advantages of the mozart school. not only the word 'many' in the sentence is arbitrary, highly paid and well-known can also be different to people. if that 'many' are only 5 percent of the academy alumni, then it is hard to say that the students in the academy deserves such fame and money. Additionally, what is the criteria for dividing highly paid and well known? alumnies who the academy has thought to be famous might not be well-known for the parents.
Still, the assessment of the advertisement requires more information in order to make proper decision. but with the paragraph that author advertised, it is too weak to support the claim that the mozart school is advantageous compared to different musical academies.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...of music compared to the other stdents. if some student has far better, or far les...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Author
...her than concentrate on each students. author also wants to show the distinguished fa...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 161, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Not
...t such advantages of the mozart school. not only the word many in the sentence is a...
^^^
Line 4, column 274, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...-known can also be different to people. if that many are only 5 percent of the aca...
^^
Line 4, column 491, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Alumnies
...or dividing highly paid and well known? alumnies who the academy has thought to be famou...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ation in order to make proper decision. but with the paragraph that author advertis...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, then, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 58.6224719101 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1600.0 2235.4752809 72% => OK
No of words: 318.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03144654088 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73574061811 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 215.323595506 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506289308176 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 704.065955056 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.9252846832 60.3974514979 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 114.285714286 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7142857143 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.07142857143 5.21951772744 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274174422859 0.243740707755 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.099628206345 0.0831039109588 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0972646523485 0.0758088955206 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156192236555 0.150359130593 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0902338195886 0.0667264976115 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 100.480337079 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.