Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free

Essay topics:

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Education system was built to help us to find a pathway to gain knowledge, however not perfect, formal education system contributes to human society a lot. Before formal education system appeared, human's pursuit of konwledge is limited within two aspects: one is the area of knowledge, which is mainly about religious due to the controll of bishop; another is what leads people to gain knowledge, the curiosity. However, not every one will finds a curiosity regarding certain sceintific area before being usherred by someone. To encourage more people to find their favorites in certain areas is the purpose of formal education system.

Admittedly, formal education has downsides, as setting people's way of exploring scientific area in a narrower scope. For example, students in America need to choose AP courses if they want to enter in top-ranked universities, but whether those students really connect those courses with their future career is not clear, or even, they just choose them to exchange the admission from universities, which is a phenomenon disobeying the essence of education. In China, such situation exists more pervasively, students are divided into only two categories: science and arts, which means that in the high school, the formal education in China has already largely decided most of stduents' future life without telling those students, because people in that age is too young to predict, to envision the difference that the category brings to them. But there are also some policies to change the stilted system, like American universities allow children not to choose their subject in the first two years; Chinese education system allow children to freely choose three subjects out of six, all of which contain a signal wanting to set students free.

However, except drawbacks mentioned before, the formal system also contributes to much. The education path of a student is very long, while the length is largely controlled by themselves. Actually, all disadvantages mentioned so far are discussed within a scope, or configuration of a larger " advantage". Taking a wide scope, the formal education is divided into three stages, the first stage is the time before entering colleges, when students are educated widely, but basically and shallowly; the second stage ends with possessing the bachelor degree while the last stage is the indication aftering gaining a bachelor. If we are talk about the free of academics, if one is very interested in physics at his high school, that does not promise his enthusiasm in university study to be still consistent, because what they study in high school is very basic and easy. But even if one does favor physics very, it is necessary to be educated any other seemly unrelated but actually connected very closely subjects like maths, which give them the true freedom if they want to study deeper in physical area.

To sum up, while the formal system has several flaws and drawbacks, it does contribute to our society, and it actually sets up a logical study stage from wide and basic to narrow and expert. Someone misregard the stilted courses in high school as a regulation of restraining people, but it lends a foundation for students' more free research in the future instead.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 31, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help us find' instead.
Suggestion: help us find
Education system was built to help us to find a pathway to gain knowledge, however no...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 441, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'find'
Suggestion: find
... curiosity. However, not every one will finds a curiosity regarding certain sceintifi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 80, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...ore, the formal system also contributes to much. The education path of a student i...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, really, regarding, second, so, still, thus, while, for example, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 58.6224719101 131% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2734.0 2235.4752809 122% => OK
No of words: 531.0 442.535393258 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14877589454 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70123991177 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 215.323595506 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527306967985 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 875.7 704.065955056 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.10617977528 290% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 8.0 1.77640449438 450% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 92.248115665 60.3974514979 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 170.875 118.986275619 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.1875 23.4991977007 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.125 5.21951772744 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174427044761 0.243740707755 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0606168247206 0.0831039109588 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0371422838892 0.0758088955206 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108891618804 0.150359130593 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0149571270325 0.0667264976115 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 14.1392134831 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.8420337079 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.1743820225 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.32 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 100.480337079 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.