Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
Does our educational system create trailblazers capable of putting a dent in the world through innovation or just crowd followers with a degree. The prompt provides opinions supporting both the sides of the argument. However, in my opinion, the most fundamental flaw of today's educational system is that it precludes students from thinking out-of-the-box, and hinders their iconoclastic tendencies. I agree with people who believe that the current educational system circumscribes our minds and spirits of the students, instead of providing a credible platform to set them free.
Firstly, the educational system, designed years ago, seems anachronistic in today's sophisticated and cosmopolitan world. Instead of taking into account the growing technological advances across different fields, it provides students with the same rudimentary system focussing on theoretical learning, meanwhile ignoring the pragmatic aspects, and thus yielding mechanical beings who are not efficient in creative thinking. As the world demands, the graduates should be proficient in solving practical problems thorough innovative ideas, which can only be inculcated through practical exposure rather than bookish knowledge. For instance, many tech founders like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg opted to drop out of their college education to solve real world problems, and the success of Microsoft and Facebook justifies their decision. Had they been sitting in classrooms and finishing their assignments, the world would not have been the same place. Thus, this proves that education does not help in providing students a platform for free thinking, contrastingly, inhibits the development of their mind and spirit.
Secondly, as the education system takes a financial toll over the students pursing courses through exorbitant fees, it is indispensable for them to get a job as soon as they complete their degree to pay back the educational loans. Thus, this restricts them from thinking differently which may include changing careers, starting a business, freelancing etc. For instance, a student who recently graduated in Computer Science, wants work on his own start-up for solving some real world problem, is unable to do so because of the loan payback. Therefore, instead of providing them with latitude and setting them free, our educational system inhibits student's freedom and weakens their risk taking abilities.
However, some may argue that formal education in paramount as it provides an idea of a person's qualification, and present them with exposure to different fields, consequently, helping a student to ruminate over eclectic career options. I concede this assertion, nevertheless, I don't agree that formal education is the only way to showcase qualification and explore diverse fields of work.
Finally, it's true that educational degrees help students in grabbing job offers and exploring different fields, but it restricts their ability of creative and innovative thinking, and dampens their will of taking risks in life by putting an enormous financial obligation over their shoulders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 88, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...n paramount as it provides an idea of a persons qualification, and present them with ex...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 279, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...concede this assertion, nevertheless, I dont agree that formal education is the only...
^^^^
Line 9, column 199, Rule ID: MODAL_OF[2]
Message: It's never correct to use "of" after a modal verb. Use 'will have'.
Suggestion: will have
... innovative thinking, and dampens their will of taking risks in life by putting an enor...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for instance, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.5258426966 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2633.0 2235.4752809 118% => OK
No of words: 465.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.6623655914 5.05705443957 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98405676066 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 215.323595506 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572043010753 0.4932671777 116% => OK
syllable_count: 782.1 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.1943605282 60.3974514979 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.882352941 118.986275619 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3529411765 23.4991977007 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.76470588235 5.21951772744 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199880599906 0.243740707755 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0700004936098 0.0831039109588 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0771741829296 0.0758088955206 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112966690081 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0560805234518 0.0667264976115 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.9 14.1392134831 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.8420337079 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.84 12.1639044944 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.38706741573 116% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 100.480337079 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.