formal education tends to restrain student's mind and spirits rather than set them free

Essay topics:

formal education tends to restrain student's mind and spirits rather than set them free

This topic raises a controversial issue whether formal education tends to restrain student's mind and wither spirits rather than set them free. Indisputably, Formal Education plays an important role in shaping mindset of the pupils. Nevertheless, whether formal education restrains the mindset and spirits of students depends on various factors such what type of Educational Institute they are enrolled in, what type of curriculum the institute follows and how well documented and defined is the curriculum i.e. what was the mission and vision of the people who set the curriculum.Thus, I generally disagree with the arguments that formal education tend to fetter minds and spirits of the students as it is too broadly assumed without consideration of various factors and shape-shifters involved in it.

Firstly, it depends on what type of educational institution it is. To illustrate let us have an example of Indian Engineering Universities which although have a well documented grading system often discouraged by students and international authorities. This Indian Engineering Colleges follow Semester Systems which includes continuous evaluation of students on a daily basis along with ample of projects, assignments and their deadlines approaching one after another. Therefore in such Institutions a student cannot pursue his/her interest in sports or any other field and is restrained to only completing college assignments and projects in a competitive environment where grading systems such as relative grading are used so that students focus more on studying than any other activities. Because of such incompetent system followed by Indian Engineering college only 1 university IIT BOMBAY is in top 100 list of the entire world.

Furthermore, for educational institutions such as school let us exemplify with the following case: The educational system of Finland for children is well appreciated due to its well documented system of teaching and grading. The schools in Finland never impose any kind of burden on their students for example there is a strict no homework rule for schools in Finland. Such type of schools help in developing overall mindset and morale of children and make them grow as better individuals. Because of this the educational system of Finland is ranked 1st all over the world.

In conclusion, I feel that the argument is too broad without taking in account various cases and circumstances under which students go through and what was the mission and vision of the legislatures of the educational system while documenting it.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 164, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...than set them free. Indisputably, Formal Education plays an important role in sha...
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Line 1, column 210, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation plays an important role in shaping mindset of the pupils. Nevertheless, whe...
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Line 1, column 583, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...on of the people who set the curriculum.Thus, I generally disagree with the argument...
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Line 3, column 159, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...neering Universities which although have a well documented grading system often d...
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Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...eadlines approaching one after another. Therefore in such Institutions a student cannot p...
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Line 3, column 794, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... on studying than any other activities. Because of such incompetent system followed by ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d make them grow as better individuals. Because of this the educational system of Finla...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ational system while documenting it.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 12.4196629213 8% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2174.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 400.0 442.535393258 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.435 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05433708028 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 215.323595506 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5225 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 676.8 704.065955056 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 23.0359550562 130% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 128.324108893 60.3974514979 212% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 167.230769231 118.986275619 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7692307692 23.4991977007 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.2307692308 5.21951772744 196% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 10.2758426966 39% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294733811717 0.243740707755 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107929574899 0.0831039109588 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.161855751975 0.0758088955206 214% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165914579823 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.166663369193 0.0667264976115 250% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.5 14.1392134831 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.57 48.8420337079 67% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.92365168539 164% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.1743820225 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.81 12.1639044944 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.51 8.38706741573 113% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 100.480337079 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 21.0 11.8971910112 177% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.2143820225 125% => OK
text_standard: 21.0 11.7820224719 178% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.