"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
The author's explanation that Panoply's safety record is because of its smaller work shifts compared to their own company is completely flawed. Stated this way, the author lacks evidences necessary for properly evaluating the issue and also mentions several instances of improper and ill-logical reasoning. The argument assumes methodology used by their industry as well as the Panolpy Industry is similar. Also the author fails to mention proper statistics related to the report. Further scrutiny of author's report provides little credible support to the author's stance. Hence, the argument is incomplete or unsubstantiated.
First of all, The author assumes that the methodology implemented by Panolpy industries is same as their own industry. It may be possible that even though they produce similar products the methodology implemented might be different. For example, if both the industries produce cloth then it might be possible that Panolpy produces expensive hand-made cloth while the other industry produces inexpensive machine made cloth. In such a case obviously there will be very less or almost no accident possibility in the Panolply industry but there will exist a greater chance of accidents in our industry where workers deal with machines rather than making hand-made products. Hence, such a comparison can be flawed easily and is not at all feasible.
Moreover, the author does not provide the exact statistics needed to determine the difference in the amount of accidents occurred in the two industries. The author only states that 30% more accidents are identified in his industry compared to Panolpy industry. However, this 30% can be even just 5 or 7 accidents or it can be as huge as 100 to 200 accidents that is it depends on the number of workers employed by both the industries. It might be possible that the following year 5 more accidents occur in the Panolpy industries. Because of its unpredictability a few less harmful accidents can be accepted compared to the amount of loss incurred by reducing 1 hour shift of work of the employees. Hence proper statistics are needed to make properly assess the report.
Also, the author assumes that by decreasing 1 hour of work shift the employees necessarily will rest and be more productive. There is a high chance of these employees stumbling upon a part time job which provides them salary on hourly basis because such class of people always have an insatiable appetite of earning as much as more money possible. In such case the employees would be more deprived of sleep and would result in more amount of accidents that already occurring.
In conclusion, I would like to state that the author fails to mention several facts about methodology implemented, statistics and assumes that the employees would properly rest if granted them extra hour everyday which may result in lower accident numbers. Finally, to better asses the argument more information is needed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2428 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.682 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.828 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.308 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors explanation that Panoplys safety record...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rd is because of its smaller work shifts compared to their own company is complet...
^^
Line 1, column 407, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ell as the Panolpy Industry is similar. Also the author fails to mention proper stat...
^^^^
Line 1, column 556, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...provides little credible support to the authors stance. Hence, the argument is incomple...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 530, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...idents occur in the Panolpy industries. Because of its unpredictability a few less harm...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 590, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dictability a few less harmful accidents can be accepted compared to the amount o...
^^
Line 3, column 699, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... 1 hour shift of work of the employees. Hence proper statistics are needed to make pr...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 184, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...nce of these employees stumbling upon a part time job which provides them salary on hourl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 337, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ppetite of earning as much as more money possible. In such case the employees wou...
^^
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ics and assumes that the employees would properly rest if granted them extra hour...
^^
Line 5, column 206, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...roperly rest if granted them extra hour everyday which may result in lower accident numb...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, while, for example, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2469.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 477.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17610062893 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79581894939 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492662473795 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 783.0 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.0578219118 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.227272727 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6818181818 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.22727272727 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176650898009 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490537349599 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0342523390079 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0846753862217 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0438954701312 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.