The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony."The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internationally k

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony.

"The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internationally known conductor, who has been able to attract high-profile guest musicians to perform with the symphony. Since then, private contributions to the symphony have doubled and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series has reached new highs. Now that the Grandview Symphony is an established success, it can raise ticket prices. Increased revenue from larger audiences and higher ticket prices will enable the symphony to succeed without funding from the city government."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author's argument claims that Grand Symphony is now an established business and by raising its ticket prices, it would gather a huge amount of money which can be helpful in becoming autonomous. Stated, this way the argument reveals several instances or improper reasoning and lacks evidences on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The argument made by authors contains several generalizations and lacks in various statistical data. Hence the argument is incomplete or unsubstantiated

First of all the author states that after hiring this international conductor the private contributions have "doubled" and the attendance has also reached new "highs". Here we only know that that the contributions have been doubled and attendance have also increased but we don't know to what extent both the things have increased. For example, it is possible that the private contributions were only 1000 dollars before appointing the conductor and have increased to 2000 dollars after this conductor was appointed. Hence, in such a case we can clearly see that these contributions having though doubled are still nominal. Also we don't know how much the attendance has increased. For example It may be possible that the highest recorded attendance was 100 people at a time which have now increased to 110 people which is not a huge change but a new high. Hence, proper and more concrete statistical evidence is needed.

Also, the author assumes that there won't be any change in the number of people attending the Symphony then it was before after increasing the ticket prices. It is undoubtedly possible that after raising the ticket prices less people attend the Symphony which may even result in lesser profits than the Symphony used to earn before the appointment of its new conductor. Hence such a major factor cannot be readily assumed and also the amount of price increment of a ticket should be mentioned which is also a crucial factor in determining the amount of audience who will attend the show as well the overall profit or loss of the whole outcome.

Moreover, the author considers Grand Symphony an established success without mentioning and considering the number of concerts it has been on higher attendance and profits after appointment of the new conductor. For example, It is possible that only after one or two concerts which were hit the author concluded that Grand Symphony is an established business. Success can be measured only over a long period of time considering many qualities such as consistency of the conductor and consistency of profits gained. It may also be possible that the conductor had contacts with 2 or 3 very great singers which is summoned at Grand Symphony and the concert was highly attended. Hence on just the basis of 2 or 3 concerts which may have been very profitable, the author may have concluded it as an established business which is surely not an assumption which can be condoned.

In sum, the author's argument remains unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the argument better and more concrete statistics and evidences are needed which can perhaps be found by detailed analysis or by carrying surveys. Finally, to assess the argument more information is needed regarding the Grand Symphony.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument claims that Grand Symphony is ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 440, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... and lacks in various statistical data. Hence the argument is incomplete or unsubstan...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...ew 'highs'. Here we only know that that the contributions have been doubled and...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 295, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...d attendance have also increased but we dont know to what extent both the things hav...
^^^^
Line 3, column 644, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...aving though doubled are still nominal. Also we dont know how much the attendance ha...
^^^^
Line 3, column 652, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ough doubled are still nominal. Also we dont know how much the attendance has increa...
^^^^
Line 5, column 222, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...le that after raising the ticket prices less people attend the Symphony which may ev...
^^^^
Line 5, column 370, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...e the appointment of its new conductor. Hence such a major factor cannot be readily a...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 402, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...uccess can be measured only over a long period of time considering many qualities such as cons...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 676, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ny and the concert was highly attended. Hence on just the basis of 2 or 3 concerts wh...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...n which can be condoned. In sum, the authors argument remains unconvincing as it sta...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, may, moreover, regarding, so, still, then, well, for example, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2738.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 535.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11775700935 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89544113252 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433644859813 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 855.0 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.4516655768 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.380952381 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4761904762 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57142857143 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0734890796478 0.218282227539 34% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0266971629212 0.0743258471296 36% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0334524167199 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0434052990773 0.128457276422 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.02676826292 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 538 350
No. of Characters: 2669 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.816 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.961 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.735 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 204 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.422 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5