The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony."The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception-pocetak ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internati

Essay topics: The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony.

"The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception-pocetak ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internationally known conductor, who has been able to attract high-profile guest musicians to perform with the symphony. Since then, private contributions to the symphony have doubled and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series has reached new highs. Now that the Grandview Symphony is an established success, it can raise ticket prices. Increased revenue from larger audiences and higher ticket prices will enable the symphony to succeed without funding from the city government."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

christine_cui's picture

In the argument, the author states that government funding is not needed for the symphony to succeed. To bolster this, the author cites that there were more private contributions to the syphons and attendance at the concerts-in-the-park series has achieved new peak after the hiring of an well-known conductor. however, the statement is tenuous in several aspects.

The author mentions that the city of Granview has provided annual funding for the grandview symphony since its inception ten years ago. In the statement, the author simply ignores the fact that revenue is a function of profit minus expenses. it is possible that without those funds from the government, the symphony would have insufficient money to hire the internationally known conductor who leads to the later success of the symphony. thus, no conclusion should be made before making a more comprehensive research about how large is the role of government funds in subsidizing the symphony financially.

after the internationally known conductor become a member of the grandview symphony, more private contributions have happened and there has been more audiences for the concerts-in-the-park series. however, not enough evidence are there to exclude the possibility that this conductor will continue his contract with grandview symphony in the future. it is possible that other symphony might provide him with a higher pay that cause him to leave the grandview. it is also possible that this conductor is near the age of retirement and might only able to work for one or two more years. thus, without evidence that excluding all possible scenarios that might happen in the future, the assertion that no government funding will be needed in future for the symphony to succeed is unjustifiable.

The author is also being over-enthusiastic about the situation. Even though it might be the case that the great work of the new conductors lead to the higher attendance for the concerts-in-the-park series, there is no evidence suggests that future works will also lead to same success. it is possible that the public audience especially favour the music played in the concerts-in-the-park series. it is also possible that once the ticket price is raised, less people will be able to afford the ticket thus leading to a decreased attendance.

In sum, the author’s statement is logically flawed and the evidence used is also groundless in supporting his argument. To strengthen it, the author should consider in a throughout manner about the importance of government funds for the grandview symphony, also should consider all the possible long term consequences for the symphony to continue without the funding.

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Average: 5.9 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 287, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...s achieved new peak after the hiring of an well-known conductor. however, the stat...
^^
Line 1, column 312, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... the hiring of an well-known conductor. however, the statement is tenuous in several as...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...is a function of profit minus expenses. it is possible that without those funds fr...
^^
Line 11, column 439, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...s to the later success of the symphony. thus, no conclusion should be made before ma...
^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
...the symphony financially. after the internationally known conductor bec...
^^^^^
Line 21, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...es for the concerts-in-the-park series. however, not enough evidence are there to exclu...
^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 350, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... with grandview symphony in the future. it is possible that other symphony might p...
^^
Line 21, column 460, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... that cause him to leave the grandview. it is also possible that this conductor is...
^^
Line 21, column 585, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...able to work for one or two more years. thus, without evidence that excluding all po...
^^^^
Line 31, column 287, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...e works will also lead to same success. it is possible that the public audience es...
^^
Line 31, column 398, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...yed in the concerts-in-the-park series. it is also possible that once the ticket p...
^^
Line 31, column 456, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...e that once the ticket price is raised, less people will be able to afford the ticke...
^^^^
Line 41, column 171, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a throughout manner" with adverb for "throughout"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...rengthen it, the author should consider in a throughout manner about the importance of government fund...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, then, thus, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2308.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 427.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40515222482 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.17598424462 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466042154567 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 694.8 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.478073273 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.222222222 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7222222222 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.44444444444 5.70786347227 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244291979848 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0863473331857 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118493331989 0.0701772020484 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147092019131 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103900674678 0.0628817314937 165% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2206 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.118 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.896 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 43.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.878 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.45 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.708 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Pages