The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing.
"During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. If we shorten each of our work shifts by one hour, we can improve Butler Manufacturing's safety record by ensuring that our employees are adequately rested."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo, vice president of Butler manufacturing company recommends to shorten the work shift of Butler Manufacturing by one hour to improve the safety of the workers stating two reasons that nearby Panoply Industries have one hour shorter work shift and on-the-job accidents are less in the industry and a government study. The reasons provided by the vice president looks plausible on the surface but strong evidences are required for the reasons to properly analyze the recommendation.
Firstly, evidence is required that proves that the nearby Panoply Industries are comparable to the Butler Manufacturing. It may be the case that Panoply Industries are less likely to have on-the-job accidents because they do not have the machinery, workplace situation, etc which may lead to accidents. It may be also the case that Panoply Industries have well established safety system, which will lead to less accident in first place. So, if any of the above cases are true, then the argument presented by the vice president in the memo is hampered.
Secondly, evidence is need for the validity of the government study that is mentioned. It may be the case that, the study conducted by the government is seriously flawed and based on false data. The sample size of the study, demographics, type of industry, time of study are not mentioned in the memo. It is possible that the sample size was to low to conclude that fatigue and sleep deprivation lead to on-the-job accidents. Perhaps, the study was conducted on different kind of industry where there is more probability of accidents on job than the mentioned Butler Manufacturing industry. So, if any of the above cases are true then, argument presented by the author in the memo is significantly weakened.
Thirdly, even if we assume the government study was legit, strong evidence is required to suggest that reducing one hour in work shift will result in less on-the-job accidents and others factors do not account to the accidents. well, it is possible that, the work environment of the Butler Manufacturing is less safe, so there are more accidents. It may be the case that, the workers are not given proper safety instructions regarding the machinery which may lead to more accidents on the job. So, if any of the above cases hold water then the argument presented by the vice president in the memo is seriously hindered.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands is considerably flawed because of its reliance on several unstated assumptions and lack of systematic evidences. If author of the passage is able to provide three stated evidences in a systematic manner then it will be possible to evaluate the recommendation regarding the reduction of work hour to improve safety in Butler Manufacturing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2254 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.932 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.84 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.585 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends shortening'.
Suggestion: recommends shortening
...esident of Butler manufacturing company recommends to shorten the work shift of Butler Manufacturing ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 238, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...b accidents because they do not have the machinery, workplace situation, etc whic...
^^
Line 9, column 343, Rule ID: TO_TOO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...It is possible that the sample size was to low to conclude that fatigue and sleep ...
^^
Line 13, column 229, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Well
...actors do not account to the accidents. well, it is possible that, the work environm...
^^^^
Line 13, column 455, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...structions regarding the machinery which may lead to more accidents on the job. S...
^^
Line 13, column 496, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... may lead to more accidents on the job. So, if any of the above cases hold water then ...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tions and lack of systematic evidences. If author of the passage is able to provid...
^^
Line 17, column 222, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a systematic manner" with adverb for "systematic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... able to provide three stated evidences in a systematic manner then it will be possible to evaluate th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, as to, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2319.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07439824945 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91145071316 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.393873085339 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 756.9 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.8223352017 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.833333333 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3888888889 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23697292192 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775079000371 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.075275152895 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144569357235 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0705830863963 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.