The general welfare of a nation's people is a better indication of that nation's greatness than are the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disag

The claim makes a distinction between general welfare of the inhabitants of the nation and the goals that those people achieve in different fields, from politics to arts or science. Even if I believe that those aspects of a society shouldn’t be separate, having to take a position, I would say that greatness of a nation can be better identify in the achievement in the social sciences, STEM or politic disciplines.

It’s easier to explain my position thinking about societies and countries in the past, and as examples I want to draw attention on the great civilizations that were established from the Egyptians time to the Roman one. About the Egyptians, we remember this civilization as a formidable example for its complex system of religion, with the many gods and believes, its advances in building the monuments that tourists still visit today, and its complex writing style with the use of geroglyphs that have puzzled archeologists and linguists for decades before the discovery of Rosetta.

If the Egypt of the Pharaoh can be use to prove the greatness of a nation through the arts, we can name the Greek of the V century as a symbol of greatness for their politics ability and the invention of the very first form of democracy: just remember that the ruler Pericle and his speech to the Atenians are still an important reading and lecture in many different academic field and has been translated in more than 40 different languages. Similarly their discoveries in Science, especially in the Medicine fields have made the History; Hyppocrates, for example, has become immortal through the his vows that every physician has to repeat when graduate after MD school as symbol of belonging to the class of the “healing people”.

The last example I want to use to support my point of view is the Roman civilizations, worldwide recognized as the one that best represent the features needed to preserve the unity of country made up from different populations each with its own traditions and believes. The greatness of the roman republic first, and Empire then, was indeed this strong sense of belonging to the Great Roman Empire that the ruling class was been able to convey deeply to every social layers.

It is also important to say that every country and civilization that I have delineate as great for some aspect of their arts, sciences or politics has also many negative drawbacks: one could name slavery, that was an usual and social accepted practice during the Roman times, or the idea of human sacrifices during for the Egyptians.
Also the fact that we are referring to delimitate and restricted sectors of the social pyramids of that time, as privileged portions of the nation and not as a whole could be a challenging point against our idea.

In response to this assertion, I would like to focus on a contemporary nation that is commonly defined great and named symbol to others for different reasons: the United States. USA are more often seen as great nation because of the idea of freedom, the country of “all-the-possibilities”, but a deeper insight reveals that the welfare conditions for which they are admired worldwide are not for everyone neither. Infact the health system is private and not accessible to everyone, the higher levels of education are expensive and restricted to whom can afford the pricey tuitions of the universities, there are many individuals who are living below the threshold of poverty, and in many states the death penalty is still allowed and practiced.
Nonteheless, America will be always remembered as a great nation, and the “American Dream” will always exist.

In conclusion, even if probably the welfare of the people from a country would be a better indicator of its greatness, as in the past as in the future, the achievements in the broad fields of arts, sciences and politics will consecrate nations to History defining them as great.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
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...e to the Roman one. About the Egyptians, we remember this civilization as a formi...
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...ligion, with the many gods and believes, its advances in building the monuments t...
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... If the Egypt of the Pharaoh can be use to prove the greatness of a nation thro...
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Suggestion: used
... If the Egypt of the Pharaoh can be use to prove the greatness of a nation thro...
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Suggestion: many
...ill an important reading and lecture in many different academic field and has been translated ...
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Suggestion: Similarly,
...ed in more than 40 different languages. Similarly their discoveries in Science, especiall...
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Line 5, column 595, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
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Suggestion: the; his
...or example, has become immortal through the his vows that every physician has to repeat...
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...le'. The last example I want to use to support my point of view is the Roma...
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...features needed to preserve the unity of country made up from different populatio...
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Suggestion: was; has been
...reat Roman Empire that the ruling class was been able to convey deeply to every social l...
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... convey deeply to every social layers. It is also important to say that every c...
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Suggestion: delineated
...ry country and civilization that I have delineate as great for some aspect of their arts,...
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Line 9, column 215, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
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...backs: one could name slavery, that was an usual and social accepted practice duri...
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Suggestion: Also,
... sacrifices during for the Egyptians. Also the fact that we are referring to deli...
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Line 10, column 39, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... Also the fact that we are referring to delimitate and restricted sectors of the...
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Line 10, column 196, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... as a whole could be a challenging point against our idea. In response to thi...
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...ry of 'all-the-possibilities', but a deeper insight reveals that the we...
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Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
Suggestion: will always be
...ed and practiced. Nonteheless, America will be always remembered as a great nation, and the &...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, similarly, so, still, then, as to, for example, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 14.8657303371 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.3162921348 186% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 95.0 58.6224719101 162% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3304.0 2235.4752809 148% => OK
No of words: 657.0 442.535393258 148% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02891933029 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.06280665599 4.55969084622 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01283446245 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 317.0 215.323595506 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482496194825 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 1044.0 704.065955056 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 23.0359550562 187% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.2541518483 60.3974514979 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 220.266666667 118.986275619 185% => OK
Words per sentence: 43.8 23.4991977007 186% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.53333333333 5.21951772744 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 9.0 4.97078651685 181% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 18.0 7.80617977528 231% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21920533606 0.243740707755 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.080759413756 0.0831039109588 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597570416826 0.0758088955206 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100706258449 0.150359130593 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0624626100797 0.0667264976115 94% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.2 14.1392134831 171% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 27.83 48.8420337079 57% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.1 12.1743820225 165% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.78 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.93 8.38706741573 118% => OK
difficult_words: 173.0 100.480337079 172% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 11.2143820225 171% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.7820224719 161% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.