If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.
The speaker asserts that it is justifiable to take any means to attain a worthy goal. Often, successful people testify how they achieved the success because they took any means to achieve the goal. However, I partially disagree with the speaker’s position given that some of the seemingly plausible goals for the society can bring detrimental results on many people in the process of pursuing them.
Admittedly, in terms of personal growth and development, taking any means to achieve his or her goal often accelerates the process. As an example, there is the case of my sister. Since young, she has dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. However, my family could not afford the outrageous tuition and living expense even when she was admitted to the veterinarian school. In order to accomplish her goal, she has worked multiple jobs even though her school highly recommends its students to not work during their intensive veterinarian program. Though she has broken the advice and concealed the fact that she was working, she eventually attained the goal of becoming a veterinarian. Without taking drastic measures, she could have been unable to graduate from the program due to the financial problem.
However, when we set goals for the whole society, taking any means to accomplish goals often harms a lot of members of the society. It is often difficult to realize flaws of the goal when a large number of people participate together to achieve the goal. Take Marxism is an example. Karl Marx believed that capitalistic society will eventually diminish because our lives are distorted in a capitalistic society. According to Marx, a capitalist society is not ideal because it only forces individuals to produce maximum monetary compensation while only a few people hold privileges in the society. Thus, Marx concluded that we must evolve from a capitalistic society to a fair communist society and many agreed him at that time. However, to achieve this sounding goal, we have witnessed too many flaws and wrongdoings that communist nations had made in the process. Marx’ seemingly perfect goal revealed that it is a human nature to seek privileges and enjoy them. In the Soviet Union, not many were able to criticize misconducts of the government because the government has silenced people as a means to blind people from seeing anything other than the goal of making a communist utopia.
In conclusion, i admit that the speaker is correct that taking any means to achieve the goal occasionally helps achieving the goal in a short period of time for individuals. However, we should not overlook the fact that there is no goal that is mutually perfect for societies and some of the members in the society may have to sacrifice themselves to achieve the goal for the society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... the speaker's position given that some of the seemingly plausible goals for the socie...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 189, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...icult to realize flaws of the goal when a large number of people participate together to achieve ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 16, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... a communist utopia. In conclusion, i admit that the speaker is correct that ...
^
Line 7, column 113, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to achieve' or 'achieve'.
Suggestion: to achieve; achieve
... to achieve the goal occasionally helps achieving the goal in a short period of time for ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 143, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...lly helps achieving the goal in a short period of time for individuals. However, we should not...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 281, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...t is mutually perfect for societies and some of the members in the society may have to sacr...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, look, may, so, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2334.0 2235.4752809 104% => OK
No of words: 462.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05194805195 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76174530338 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495670995671 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 738.9 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5829060601 60.3974514979 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.142857143 118.986275619 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.57142857143 5.21951772744 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204747235001 0.243740707755 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0705043053022 0.0831039109588 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0814218361025 0.0758088955206 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147635469543 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.045665657405 0.0667264976115 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 100.480337079 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.