The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
With the advent of new technologies, many people’s lifestyles have been significantly changed. For example, automation in various manufacturing industries has reduced harsh and dangerous works and allowed more people to engage in service industries. This kind of change has brought more luxurious and convenient contemporary lives. Some insist that the changes are negative as it made people more lean to technologies: without smartphones or the internet, people will be no more able to continue their lives. Although reliance to technologies might have increased, contemporary life with more luxuries and conveniences, in fact, allowed people to handle more things by own their hands.
Firstly, the luxury and convenient life has led people to be more independent even from young ages. A trip all planned by oneself is a good example of demonstrating it. About 30 years ago, traveling around the world was not common, especially for young students. For example, in Korea, to travel outside of the country, they had to receive special permission from the nation. However, it totally changed with the global lifestyles of contemporary people: now, anyone can go outside of Korea if they have a flight ticket and a proper Visa if needed. As a result, the number of university students who are planning a trip to European countries, Japan, China, or others has been significantly increased. For the sake of technologies’ convenience, they can handle all the planning procedures by themselves such as booking a flight ticket, making a reservation for hostels, and scheduling the routes where to visit. It shows the contemporary life actually has made people more independent and even stronger.
Secondly, with the contemporary lifestyle, people require fewer assists from others, which means they have become more independent. To be specific, through the internet, they can obtain all the information they want without contacting others. When utilizing the internet was not yet prevalent, the most reliable and easy way to get information was to visit professors or experts and receive answers directly from them, as result, they highly relied to someone else. In contrast, these days, even highly specialized information can be easily found through Google scholars or journal websites, so people can study more independently.
The contemporary luxurious and convenient life has changed how people live their lives. It might have resulted in somewhat negative influences on individuals such as excessive reliance on technologies, but that is not everything that it resulted in. Clearly, there are numerous positive aspects of contemporary life with more strength and independence.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, as to, for example, in contrast, in fact, kind of, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2270.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 416.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.45673076923 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02885760071 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552884615385 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 711.0 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.9691937611 60.3974514979 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.5 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157522545338 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0584148417867 0.0831039109588 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591857418025 0.0758088955206 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10612813531 0.150359130593 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273910182125 0.0667264976115 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.1639044944 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.3 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 100.480337079 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.