People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Generally, people are regarded as autonomous beings; that is, they can make and carry out decisions in accordance with their will. This seems to be obvious in our daily lives. However, upon close scrutiny, this may not hold true. The given prompt states that people’s behavior is determined mostly by forces, not by their own making. I strongly agree with this claim for three reasons.
First of all, one of the reasons that people’s behavior is largely determined by others, not by themselves, is that they are likely to be swayed by social influence. To be more specific, they are inevitably affected by the decisions of others. Peer pressure is a typical example of social influence. When a student hangs out with his friends and finds out that most of them are drinking root beer, he is much more likely to follow that trend. Furthermore, if a student is surrounded by peers who are uninterested in having high grades in school and rather indulge in computer games, then that student is very likely to follow that behavior. These examples, which are easily observed in our daily lives, present that people are readily influenced by how others behave and act. In other words, most people are prone to assimilate themselves into their surroundings.
Secondly, people’s attitude is shaped by others because humans are socially constructed beings. That is, it is the society that molded our frame of thought; we are highly inclined to act and behave aligned with that frame. For example, in the past, almost all Europeans believed that the Earth is flat rather than spherical. But, how can they be so sure even though they have not actually observed whether the Earth is flat or round? People at that time were ingrained with the prevalent idea that the Earth is flat. As the society in the Medieval injected that thought, people had no choice but to believe that Earth is flat without critically examining whether it is true or false. This example illustrates that the beliefs and behaviors we take for granted are actually the byproducts of social paradigms.
Some people might claim that our behaviors are largely decided by our free will, not the influence of others. It is true that our free will determines our behaviors and actions to some extent. However, the profundity of social influence on our behaviors cannot be eclipsed by the significance of our free will. Specifically, our behaviors and lifestyles are heavily shaped by the culture by which we are surrounded. For instance, if I am born in the United States, I am more likely to be exposed to and more likely to frequently eat hamburgers and pizzas than in most East Asian countries, regardless of my will. Moreover, I am more prone to have individualistic thoughts rather than collectivistic ones, since individualism prevails in American society. If I were not born in the United States and born in South Korea instead, my social protocols might have been significantly different. This example demonstrates that free will plays less role in shaping one’s identity and thereby influencing one’s behaviors than social surroundings, especially with respect to cultural aspects.
In conclusion, people’s behavior is not determined by themselves, rather it is determined by others, as social influences are inevitable, and humans are socially molded beings. Even if free will might play some role in one’s decision-making process, it is the sociocultural background that determines one’s frame of thought. Perhaps, humans may be mere machines that are programmed by our society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Generally, people are regarded as autono...
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Suggestion: scrutiny
...vious in our daily lives. However, upon close scrutiny, this may not hold true. The given prom...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ree with this claim for three reasons. First of all, one of the reasons that pe...
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...e themselves into their surroundings. Secondly, people’s attitude is shaped by...
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...y the byproducts of social paradigms. Some people might claim that our behavio...
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...lly with respect to cultural aspects. In conclusion, people’s behavior is not ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, in other words, it is true, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 47.0 19.5258426966 241% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 27.0 11.3162921348 239% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 69.0 33.0505617978 209% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 58.6224719101 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2980.0 2235.4752809 133% => OK
No of words: 586.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08532423208 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92010537223 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79665500604 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 276.0 215.323595506 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470989761092 0.4932671777 95% => OK
syllable_count: 927.0 704.065955056 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 6.24550561798 304% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.4240588717 60.3974514979 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3333333333 118.986275619 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5333333333 23.4991977007 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.21951772744 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232656228418 0.243740707755 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629167367737 0.0831039109588 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0848600465953 0.0758088955206 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147685711286 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613396964415 0.0667264976115 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.1392134831 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 100.480337079 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.