Society plays an important role in shaping an individual and preparing them for leadership in government, industry or other fields. The author in the given statement claims that the best way a society can prepare its young people is by instilling a sense of cooperation, not competition. The author's claim here sounds a little extreme and ignorant of the fact that competition plays in today's world.
Today's world is becoming way too competitive where everyone is striving for the best. For becoming a leader in any field one has to compete with equally skilled and talented competitors. For instance, to get a job for any position in any firm, one has to go through a rigorous screening process where he/she has to prove themseleves better and different from other candidates. A candidate who is not prepared for such a competition is more likely to fail then one who is prepared. Thus, instilling a competitive sense becomes important for a society to prepare its young people for success in such a competitive world.
A healthy competition encourages everyone to perform better and more efficiently. For instance, in goverment we have an opposition party that make sure the party in authority is keeping its promises and is working towards the welfare of the people. In such scenarios, the fear of losing to the opposition is what makes the ruling party to give their best. In a world of no competition, leaders with no fear of losing their position will not work hard enough to sustain it.
One might argue that, for a successful endeavour it is important for the leader in any field to work in cooperation with its people. But the leader will make such an effort only if he fears of losing to its competitors. In today's competitive world society must instill sense of competition to ensure success for its young people.
Society plays an important role in shaping an individual and preparing them for leadership in government, industry or other fields. The author in the given statement claims that the best way a society can prepare its young people is by instilling a sense of cooperation, not competition. The author's claim here sounds a little extreme and ignorant of the fact that competition plays in today's world.
Today's world is becoming way too competitive where everyone is striving for the best. For becoming a leader in any field one has to compete with equally skilled and talented competitors. For instance, to get a job for any position in any firm, one has to go through a rigorous screening process where he/she has to prove themseleves better and different from other candidates. A candidate who is not prepared for such a competition is more likely to fail then one who is prepared. Thus, instilling a competitive sense becomes important for a society to prepare its young people for success in such a competitive world.
A healthy competition encourages everyone to perform better and more efficiently. For instance, in goverment we have an opposition party that make sure the party in authority is keeping its promises and is working towards the welfare of the people. In such scenarios, the fear of losing to the opposition is what makes the ruling party to give their best. In a world of no competition, leaders with no fear of losing their position will not work hard enough to sustain it.
One might argue that, for a successful endeavour it is important for the leader in any field to work in cooperation with its people. But the leader will make such an effort only if he fears of losing to its competitors. In today's competitive world society must instill sense of competition to ensure success for its young people.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, still, then, thus, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 33.0505617978 57% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1528.0 2235.4752809 68% => OK
No of words: 312.0 442.535393258 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89743589744 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.55969084622 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80680673307 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 215.323595506 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483974358974 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 486.9 704.065955056 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 6.24550561798 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.1747502981 60.3974514979 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 101.866666667 118.986275619 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.4 5.21951772744 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.422766057362 0.243740707755 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.153075525932 0.0831039109588 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.192055699001 0.0758088955206 253% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.310274247098 0.150359130593 206% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.284034068415 0.0667264976115 426% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.1392134831 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 100.480337079 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.