Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
The society of these days requires competent and brilliant leaders. Some might say that in order to raise young people to a great leader, they have to push them to compete with each other. However, not a competition but cooperation is the best way to prepare their young children for leadership for the following reasons.
Firstly, leaders have to integrate all the parts of their engaged fields. Every leader, wherever they work for, government, industry, or other fields, takes the role of planning a whole picture of a field, monitoring all the tasks, and connecting workers of a certain task to others. In these procedures, they have to understand and communicate with various people in different situations. If young children raised in competing circumstances, and have never learnt how to cooperate with others, they will have serious troubles in taking the role of leaders due to a lack of communication skills. Thus, regarding the features of the leader position, learning how to cooperate with each other rather than how to compete will be more beneficial to be prepared as a leader.
secondly, leaders also have to cooperate with those who are from different fields. As a society gets more and more complicated, more projects require a fusion of various fields. For example, SAMSUNG Electronics, one of the biggest electronics companies in Korea, seems they can handle all the projects all by themselves. However, some projects such as developing a smart tag for pets require cooperation with the animal-related industry to acquire information about pets' behavior features. Likewise, the government also frequently cooperates with the engineering, science, social science or medicine industry to build new policies or conduct national projects. During conducting these kinds of works, those who take an important role are leaders from each field. Therefore, in order to raise a great leader, young people need to learn how to cooperate with each other than how to compete.
There are many thoughts on raising a great leader. Some might say competition is the best way to raise a leader as it forces people effectively to develop their own abilities. However, as many societies require leaders to integrate their own fields and cooperate with other different fields, cooperation is more beneficial and effective to prepare young people for leadership in various fields.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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The society of these days requires compe...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...eadership for the following reasons. Firstly, leaders have to integrate all t...
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Suggestion:
... of planning a whole picture of a field, monitoring all the tasks, and connecting...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...neficial to be prepared as a leader. secondly, leaders also have to cooperate...
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Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...cial to be prepared as a leader. secondly, leaders also have to cooperate with th...
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...with each other than how to compete. There are many thoughts on raising a gre...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, likewise, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.5258426966 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.3162921348 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 33.0505617978 54% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2006.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 382.0 442.535393258 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25130890052 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82728330365 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.494764397906 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.2357957207 60.3974514979 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.444444444 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2222222222 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.21951772744 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270722203913 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.091590302362 0.0831039109588 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0741253647902 0.0758088955206 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184729548337 0.150359130593 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.030963465785 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.