The concept of what promotes a thriving society is interesting and complex. The author argues that in order to thrive, a society must put overall success above the individual. While others assert that true success can only be measured by the well-being of all its people. Both perspectives are extreme and exclusive. It can be argued that overall success and general well-being directly correlate. In other words, the ideas are not mutually exclusive. Thriving societies will produce thriving individuals, therefore equal importance is attributed to both individual and overall success.
Admittedly, assessing the general welfare of an individual will give a rough estimation of one's quality of life. Generally speaking, the average well-being of the individual will be a direct reflection of the success of the society in which they function. Take the average US citizen for example. Most citizens will have at least a high-school education ,some form of access to healthcare, general safety, food, and available transportation. These characteristics demonstrate the extent of American resources that extend into the lives of its people. The availability of such factors allow individuals to live to their fullest potential. America, along with other first world nations, produces some of the most brilliant and talented minds. Well-equipped societies will generally promote the opportunity to succeed with minimized obstacles. Without the support of the overall society, the individual would not thrive.
Moreover, one would be hard pressed to find a thriving society with poor individual welfare, or vice versa. The ideas are codependent. When general welfare is low, overall success will also be low. When assessing countries such as Kenya, education, healthcare, food, and other important characteristics are minimal. Fewer opportunities are available to the individual.
Conclusively, overall success and individual well-being are inter-related concepts. Overall success is determined by general welfare of the people. In turn, the individual success will largely be limited by the factors of the society in which they live.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 177, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t overall success above the individual. While others assert that true success can onl...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 92, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ividual will give a rough estimation of ones quality of life. Generally speaking, th...
^^^^
Line 4, column 354, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ll have at least a high-school education ,some form of access to healthcare, gener...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, while, at least, for example, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 33.0505617978 36% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 58.6224719101 67% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1825.0 2235.4752809 82% => OK
No of words: 321.0 442.535393258 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.68535825545 5.05705443957 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05855866489 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 215.323595506 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.535825545171 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 582.3 704.065955056 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 23.0359550562 56% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.2458886184 60.3974514979 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.0416666667 118.986275619 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.375 23.4991977007 57% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.41666666667 5.21951772744 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.478944380661 0.243740707755 196% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127272203982 0.0831039109588 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122189081974 0.0758088955206 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.313721196527 0.150359130593 209% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117490682947 0.0667264976115 176% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 41.36 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.13 12.1639044944 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 100.480337079 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.2143820225 64% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.