"Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Today's youth is fascinated with fame and power. The culture of easy fame and easy money is widespread. With the advancement in communications, this lifestyle is being spread like wildfire. The life of a few people who have made a sustainable living because of instant fame is peanuts compared to the people who have worked tirelessly to achieve their goals. Hence, I believe that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term realistic goals rather than waste their life over gaining instant stardom.
Young minds are impressionable. Their opinions are mercurial and their thoughts aimless. When you aim for instant success, there is no backup plan. For example, many people took to the popular social app 'Vine'. Many people were instantly famous. But when 'Vine' shut down, they had no other means of income. Some managed to transition into other popular social media platforms but the majority fell through the cracks. They lost their livelihood and had to work menial jobs. Generally, young people don't know what to do. They don't understand what is good and what is bad.
When one makes a long-term goal, he carefully plans his life leading up to that goal. He thinks about the contingencies and plans for them. He always has backup plans when the original one falters. For example, basketball Hall of Famer Tim Duncan declared for the NBA draft after his college was complete. Many scouts and teams begged him to declare earlier but he was adamant. He made college his backup plan in case his stint at the NBA failed. Another example is the average student aiming for postgraduation or doctorate. There is a laid-out plan and contingencies should a part of the plan fail.
There are no regrets when a well thought out plan fails. You get on with it knowing that you gave it all.
Following a long-term plan is not a sure shot path to success. The Kardashians managed to turn their immediate fame into a billion-dollar empire. Sometimes, instant fame is as important as a well laid out plan. The TV show 'Voice' gave many people a jumpstart to their musical career. Other shows like 'America's Got Talent' helped bring unhoned talent out in the open. The fame gave many people an advantage and they managed to convert it into long term sustainable goals.
In conclusion, today's culture promotes instant fame over long term diligence. But we must teach young people of the flaws in that approach and protect them from the negative impact. We need to support and stimulate children in pursuing long term goals over gaining instant fame and recognition.
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2024-10-26 | batterylow_123 | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 498, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rk menial jobs. Generally, young people dont know what to do. They dont understand w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 525, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...young people dont know what to do. They dont understand what is good and what is bad...
^^^^
Line 8, column 248, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...lan. The TV show Voice gave many people a jumpstart to their musical career. Other shows li...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, so, well, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2136.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 435.0 442.535393258 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91034482759 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54542455281 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540229885057 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 704.065955056 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.2370786517 168% => OK
Sentence length: 12.0 23.0359550562 52% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.635516544 60.3974514979 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 62.8235294118 118.986275619 53% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 12.7941176471 23.4991977007 54% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 1.52941176471 5.21951772744 29% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212814807437 0.243740707755 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0513497448707 0.0831039109588 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567721545829 0.0758088955206 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115999594754 0.150359130593 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0512629794451 0.0667264976115 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.1 14.1392134831 57% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.76 48.8420337079 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 12.1743820225 56% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.31 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 100.480337079 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.8 11.2143820225 61% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.