Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today's materialistic world, people from the current generation are highly exposed more social media and the which plays and huge role in character formation, especially for these young people. Portraying this fancy banal world on social media makes one's self and others watching this fake blissful representation of life want more and quick fame. Thus, I strongly agree that we should make the younger generation understand the long-term benefit to aim for a realistic future and not get distracted easily with fame.
Take for example, social media, which seems to be becoming more and more detrimental for these younger generations. As, they are not recognizing the fact that these desires to get famous and known is common to all, and their elders must have also gone through this phase too. But the important point here is not to fall for this illusion world of fame and just focus on their dream or objection that they have in life. History has proven multiple times that immediate fame has most of the time led to the ruination of people's lives. And the current trend on these social media is just pushing them towards this unfavorable path. Hence, we should make these young people realize this fact and guide them to follow more realistic goals for the future, and so they can plan for the long term.
Similarly, the most relatable example would be of our young actors and actresses, lots of the parents force their dream and desires to be famous upon their kids and encourage them to get into a movie or play a role in show, which would make them claim name the world at such young age quickly. But they don't realise the fact here that, parents should also keep in mind that their child doesn't gets to fascinated by this royal treatment from the fans too much and makes descisions such as to omit school and education just to get the time out to work for more movies or shows. As these kinds of decisions would prove to be very fatal in terms of one's future. Most people do not see the point here that along with motivating the child to pursue his hobby, he/she should also be encouraged to complete his education as it will not help him grow as a person but education will help him get prepare for the unforeseen future and tackle any problems that might arrive in the path. So the main goal here will be to plan for the future by setting goals for the future and will definitely prove to be beneficial in one way or another.
In, essence I agree with this statement that the young generation of this world should be guided to set long-term goals as life is uncertain and one always wishes to play this game of life for a long time. Yes, there have been cases such as that of Mark Zukerberg, who have attained fame at such young age and done a commendable job by growing as a person and fulfilling each his dreams, but the essential point here that many people neglect to learn from Mark is that he did make many mistakes along the way by letting the fame guide is decisions. But he was also lucky to have the opportunity to realize that fact early before it becomes impossible for him to make up for those mistakes. Whereas not everybody will be as lucky as him and might get that chance to make up for. So the better plan would be to stay away from this trap of illusive instant fame and just keep working for that long-term goal.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...fancy banal world on social media makes ones self and others watching this fake blis...
^^^^
Line 2, column 126, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...for these younger generations. As, they are not recognizing the fact that these desires to get famo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rld at such young age quickly. But they dont realise the fact here that, parents sho...
^^^^
Line 3, column 387, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ould also keep in mind that their child doesnt gets to fascinated by this royal treatm...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e out to work for more movies or shows. As these kinds of decisions would prove to...
^^
Line 3, column 646, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ould prove to be very fatal in terms of ones future. Most people do not see the poin...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, similarly, so, thus, whereas, as to, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 33.0 14.8657303371 222% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 33.0505617978 194% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 58.6224719101 119% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2740.0 2235.4752809 123% => OK
No of words: 608.0 442.535393258 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.50657894737 5.05705443957 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9656475924 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.23385781963 2.79657885939 80% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 215.323595506 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457236842105 0.4932671777 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 856.8 704.065955056 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 32.0 23.0359550562 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 76.3984670119 60.3974514979 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.210526316 118.986275619 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.0 23.4991977007 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.15789473684 5.21951772744 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217638907351 0.243740707755 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773086534096 0.0831039109588 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0531989013921 0.0758088955206 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15032381166 0.150359130593 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0120328149519 0.0667264976115 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.92 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.47 12.1639044944 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 100.480337079 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.2143820225 132% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.