I generally espouse the argument that we should encourage young people to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than focus on immediate fame. The suggestion is not about restrict teenagers' freedom, contradictorily, it proposes that youths should be taught to become visionary and insightful people.
To start with, immediate fame and recognition are not everlasting or perpetual, moreover, they sometimes bring harmful and destructive effects on individuals. For instance, there are some students who are considered intellectual and thus are encouraged to drop off from the present courses and enter university to get further education. No doubt a small portion of those students will make their ways out and be brought up to be outstanding among peers, however, according to the news report, generally students have difficulties communicating with the older and thus become introvert and reticent, which may result in unhappiness and psychological diseases. In all, pursuing present fame will mostly result in tragedy and misfortune, thus we should teach out children to be insightful.
On the contrary, some would argue about the small portion of teens who finally grow up to be exceptional individuals, thus they claim that they may not be so successful if they focus on the future. Apparently, they omit the point that those outstanding students are generally insightful and ambitious. It is their insights and the confidence of their future development that promote them to keep themselves away from being caught in pure zeal, to keep abreast of their goals and never be so gloomy or so bumptious. Our goal is already accomplished due to their calmness and insight, so discussing the methods of how we teach these students may be redundant.
In sum, in order to prevent teens to be caught into thoughtless zeal and to inhibit calamity or misfortune from happening, it is the older's duty to espouse them to pursue long-term and realistic terms. By cultivating teens' insights, they can benefit a lot from it.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, finally, however, if, may, moreover, so, thus, for instance, no doubt, on the contrary, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1701.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 323.0 442.535393258 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26625386997 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96577298703 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.575851393189 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 513.0 704.065955056 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.8955212883 60.3974514979 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.75 118.986275619 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9166666667 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.41666666667 5.21951772744 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194646031054 0.243740707755 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0751975979424 0.0831039109588 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0894285462416 0.0758088955206 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132877793147 0.150359130593 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0843281152827 0.0667264976115 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.1392134831 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.1639044944 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.