I generally disavow this statement because it is suggesting a "all or nothing" situation. However, the argument may hold true in some circumstances and our attitude strongly determines the accuracy of this statement.
If we treat the luxuries and conveniences as the natural products of human culture, then there is no doubt that we should value them and appreciate them because they are our cultural matrix. In our contemporary life, those cultural products are generally high technologies, for instance, smart phones, cars and the Internet. One can make use of them and acquire knowledge from them, thus live up to be a strong individual. For example, in some schools, students use their iPads to answer the teacher's questions and finish the online homework, they can also take university classes with the help of the Internet. It is the convenience the technology provides us that allow us to gain knowledge and to be strong and independent.
However, if we only consider the conveniences as entertainment tools, the argument may hold true. Research shows that there's a large amount of students who are addicted to online games and videos. With the indulgent of the online entertaining sources, one cannot focus on study and dawdle all the time. What's worse, some corporations are exerting their talents to attract students, thus it is getting hard to reject them.
As we have discussed above, whether or not one can live up to be a strong and independent individual is strongly determined by his or hers attitude, thus teaching people to make use of the conveniences and keep away from the indulgent is important. The argument suggests a "all or nothing" statement, which I disagree with, should be altered as "without adequate attitude, the conveniences can prevent people from developing into independent individuals".
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...this statement because it is suggesting a 'all or nothing' situation. H...
^
Line 5, column 119, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...ment may hold true. Research shows that theres a large amount of students who are addi...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 304, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...focus on study and dawdle all the time. Whats worse, some corporations are exerting t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 29, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ct them. As we have discussed above, whether or not one can live up to be a strong and inde...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 272, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ent is important. The argument suggests a 'all or nothing' statement, w...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, then, thus, for example, for instance, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 58.6224719101 55% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1567.0 2235.4752809 70% => OK
No of words: 297.0 442.535393258 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27609427609 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.55969084622 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10831495025 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 215.323595506 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.565656565657 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 495.9 704.065955056 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8460956592 60.3974514979 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.538461538 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8461538462 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.76923076923 5.21951772744 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17251735772 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0514688424249 0.0831039109588 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0549122132294 0.0758088955206 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0962816509506 0.150359130593 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.079758122192 0.0667264976115 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.1639044944 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 100.480337079 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.