Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In our society, many adults expect young people to achieve their goal as fast as possible. However, I believe the young should not pursue their immediate fame and recognition.
Firtstly, goals that acheived in a short-time are likely to fail soon or reveal many weakness. For example, In 2001, the Enron company which was most famous energy company in America was cooperating with the Arthur Andersen accounting firm. The excutives of the Enron were too near-sight that they were chasing after the short-term goal; they hid their severe economic condition in order to keep their fame and withheld the information to the public. Subsequently, the company has failed and dissapeared that does not exist recently. The excutives should wait until they could fix their adverse condition and prepare for the future success. Thus, young people should pursue their long-term goals rather than immediate goals or fame.
Secondly, unceasing effort could lead to a more significant success. In case of Thomas Edison who is most famous inventer thesedays. There was a time that many scientist who chase after a short-term goal were struggle to make light bulb which was very ephemeral and expensive. However, Edison was different from them. Edison spent much longer time in study than contemporaries and his countless trial led him to make more endurable and affordable light bulb. Due to his unceasing effort and attitude toward long-term goal make him most accoladed investor today. Therfore, young people should pursue the long-term goal.
In summary, I belive that young people should pursue their long-term goal not merely immediate results. Furthermore, our society should encourage young people to acheive their goal regardless of the time that it would take.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 82, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun weakness seems to be countable; consider using: 'many weaknesses'.
Suggestion: many weaknesses
...-time are likely to fail soon or reveal many weakness. For example, In 2001, the Enron compan...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 156, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun scientist seems to be countable; consider using: 'many scientists'.
Suggestion: many scientists
...venter thesedays. There was a time that many scientist who chase after a short-term goal were ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'struggled'.
Suggestion: struggled
... who chase after a short-term goal were struggle to make light bulb which was very ephem...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, for example, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 58.6224719101 46% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1484.0 2235.4752809 66% => OK
No of words: 280.0 442.535393258 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.55969084622 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53650892981 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 215.323595506 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.553571428571 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 447.3 704.065955056 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.421508892 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2941176471 118.986275619 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4705882353 23.4991977007 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52941176471 5.21951772744 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253722411836 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0978124619454 0.0831039109588 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111268483975 0.0758088955206 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178264493417 0.150359130593 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368990353865 0.0667264976115 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.8420337079 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 100.480337079 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.