Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
It has always been said that young people are the future of a nation and they have the power to create large shifts in how a regime that will affect future generations to come. To build on this idea, the prompt asserts that youth should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals instead of focusing on achieving rapid fame and recognition. I mostly agree with the prompt for two reasons outlined below, however, I do concede that by attaining immediate acknowledgement and combining it with long-term goals, one can benefit immensely.
To begin, people who rather seek fame and recognition may end up pursuing a field in which they are not happy with and are only fueled by avarice and extreme recognition which can possbily lead to harmful effects. For example, it is a prevalent sterotype among adolescent of Asian parents telling their children at a young age to pursure high recognition fields such as medicine and engineering. This can possbily lead the child to agree that in order to become successful, they must follow a carrer path that leads to high recognition and fame. However, it posses the question of, is this really what the child wants to do? and will they really be successful? A doctor who only becomes a doctor just for the fame and glory will not enjoy their job and can possbility lead to negative effects on their mental health and on affect the health of the patients. Young people who should be encouraged to pursue long-term realisitc goals that adhere to the likes and interest instead of focusing of fame and recognition. By focusing on long-terms goals, they can pursue a carrer path that leads to a successful lifestyle and be one that they enjoy instead of seeking a lifepath for the fame and fortune.
Secondly, young people should be encouraged to seek realistic goals because by aiming at achieving instant fame, the factor of soon being irrelevent is always lingering. For example, with the high prevalence of social media, indivduals on these platforms have suddenly risen to fame in a matter for a few weeks. Such starts include James Charles and the D'Amilleo sisters who has risen to stardom almost in the matter of weeks due to their high frequency on social media. However, in order to hold on to this attention, fame and recognition, they must continue to produce outstanding accoldes that speak to their supporters. Actors such as Lindsey Lohan and Brittany Spears were famous actors/singer who were prevenlant at their contemporary times. Despite, the fame and recognition these successful women recieved, they eventually disappeared from the eyes of social media and soon become irrelevant due to many factors such as not appearing in anymore movies, not producing songs and writing books. Young people shoudl be encouraged to pursue the path of immediate fame and recongition because the possbility of fleeting fame is always lingering in the minds of these sucessful people. By not planning ahead in the future and establishing realistic long-term goals can lead to burnout and eventually lose all of the fame and recognition that otherwise would not be lost if the young were encouraged to plan ahead.
Although, I do agree that young people should be encourage to pursure long-term goals rather than seeking immediate fame, I do concede that benefits can arise from encountering immediate fame and recognition. By incpororating long-term goals into the fame and recognition achieved early in life, indivduals have the opportunity to gain extreme accoldaes. For example, Kim Kardashian achieved immediate fame and recognition from childhood due to the action of her parents. She was able to vision long-term, realistic goals for herself and become one of the most high achieving business women by starting her own makeup company, clothing line as well as futuring her education by pursing law school. Kim was pushed by her parents to use her immediate fame to turn it into a profit and business that has remain prevelent for years.
To conclude, I argue that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term realistic goals rather than seek immediate stardom. But I do concede, that indicduals are able to achieve extreme accoldaes due to their immediate fame and recognition.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...this really what the child wants to do? and will they really be successful? A docto...
^^^
Line 5, column 1307, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...can lead to burnout and eventually lose all of the fame and recognition that otherwise wou...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 50, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'encouraged'?
Suggestion: encouraged
... I do agree that young people should be encourage to pursure long-term goals rather than ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 802, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'remained'.
Suggestion: remained
... it into a profit and business that has remain prevelent for years. To conclude, I ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, well, for example, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 33.0 14.8657303371 222% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.3162921348 203% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 56.0 33.0505617978 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 97.0 58.6224719101 165% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3550.0 2235.4752809 159% => OK
No of words: 703.0 442.535393258 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04978662873 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14918898149 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72561969273 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 297.0 215.323595506 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422475106686 0.4932671777 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1104.3 704.065955056 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.6775575486 60.3974514979 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.538461538 118.986275619 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0384615385 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.21951772744 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 10.2758426966 204% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.367984057448 0.243740707755 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115367835978 0.0831039109588 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100546758684 0.0758088955206 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246340678007 0.150359130593 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0376634519414 0.0667264976115 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 100.480337079 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.