The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Essay topics:

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

The table compares underground railway systems in six metropolitan cities in the field of opening date, total length of route and annual ridership.

At first glance, it is noticeable that Tokyo has the largest passenger per a year in the railway system whereas it was built in the middle of the time frame. However, London has the oldest underground railway system which has the longest route if compared to the system in other cities.

A closer look at the data reveals that the system in Tokyo was built in 1927 which is 27 years younger than the system in Paris and 49 years older if compared to Washington DC. Likewise, the time of construction impacts on the number of annual commenters in the cities. The railways system in Tokyo has a readership of 1927 million which is the largest passengers if compared to Paris and Washington DC. Nevertheless, the route in Paris is 44 kilometers longer than Tokyo and 63 km longer than Washington DC.

Turning to the oldest and the youngest railways systems, the transportation system in London began in 1863 with 394 km in length and has 775 passengers every year . However, Los Angeles has a newest underground railway system which was constructed in 2001 with the route of 28 km, 17 km longer than that in Kyoto. In any case, the Tokyo has 45 million commuters annually while the number of those is 5 million smaller in Los Angeles.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)

Comments

The railways system in Tokyo has a readership of 1927 million which is the largest passengers
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
Don't bring math in IELTS task I like:
'which is 27 years younger than the system in Paris and 49 years older if compared to Washington DC.'

'Nevertheless, the route in Paris is 44 kilometers longer than Tokyo and 63 km longer than Washington DC.'

only write whatever you see from table. maximum you can use 'double, triple...'

Don't repeat words/phrases like: 'if compared to....'

No. of Words: 242 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 242 200
No. of Characters: 1119 1000
No. of Different Words: 110 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.944 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.57 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.481 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.753 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4