[Revised essay for the following topic]
The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the composition of the population grouped by ages in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and its prediction for 2050. Overall, middle-age people will take place of young people becoming the dominant population in Yemen, while the 15-59 age group in Italy will keep its advantage but in a less significant way throughout the surveyed period.
First of all, in Yemen, its population was almost equally divided by youngers under 14 years old (50%) and 15-59 years o9ld people (46.3%) in 2000. Those who were older than 60 years old people up to 3.6%. However, the percentage of the second age group is projected to increase to 57.3%, bypassing the young age group and becoming the largest population. People over 60s will remain the minimum portion with 5.7%.
As for Italy, its population was primarily represented by residents who were 15-59 years old in 2000 (61.6%). Other two age groups simply contributed 24.1% and 14.3% respectively. Nevertheless, unlike its counterparts in Yemen, Italy is expected to rely more on elderly population (whose rate will dramatically rise to 42.3%), and the middle-age people (with a slightly decreasing rate at 46.2%) in 2050. Young population also will gradually drop to 11.5% after 50 years.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
middle-age people will take place of young people
middle-age people will replace young people //'take place' means happen, occur
Those who were older than 60 years old people up to 3.6%.
Those who were older than 60 years old people are up to 3.6%.
bypassing the young age group
what is 'the young age group'?
Young population also will gradually drop to 11.5% after 50 years.
better: '0-14 years group' also will gradually drop to 11.5% after 50 years.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
be careful to use those 'elderly population', 'the middle-age people', 'the young age group'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 205 200
No. of Characters: 996 1000
No. of Different Words: 119 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.784 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.859 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.426 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, nevertheless, second, so, while, as for, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.0 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 1.00243902439 499% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 6.8 103% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 33.7804878049 95% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 3.97073170732 252% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1033.0 965.302439024 107% => OK
No of words: 205.0 196.424390244 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03902439024 4.92477711251 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.78388967377 3.73543355544 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69052582385 2.65546596893 101% => OK
Unique words: 122.0 106.607317073 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.59512195122 0.547539520022 109% => OK
syllable_count: 299.7 283.868780488 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 1.53170731707 196% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 8.94146341463 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.4926829268 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.452165646 43.030603864 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.3 112.824112599 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 22.9334400587 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.23603664747 160% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 3.83414634146 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172874979242 0.215688989381 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.07624097277 0.103423049105 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0792132215421 0.0843802449381 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135449007003 0.15604864568 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0535770610083 0.0819641961636 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.2329268293 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 61.2550243902 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.3012195122 96% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 11.4140731707 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.06136585366 104% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 40.7170731707 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.9970731707 91% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.0658536585 90% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.