During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about A possible job in one of his restaurants. 
Write a letter to this businessman. In your l

Essay topics:

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about 
A possible job in one of his restaurants. 

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter 
* remind him when and where you met 
* Tell him what kind of job you are interested in 
* Say why you think you would be suitable for a job 
Write at least 150 words. Begin your letter as dear... 

Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing you this letter as a follow-up to the conversation we had on the plane about employment opportunity in one of your restaurants.

I am the man who wore a black jean with yellow T-shirt and sat next to you on Qatar airline Flight 345 on Saturday 12th December 2012. The plane was leaving for Los Angeles from United Arab Emirates. we had a lengthy conversation about a job opportunity in one of your restaurant.

I am interested in restaurant supervisory jobs and i would like to apply for the role of a food supervisor in your branch in Warrnambool street.

I read food Microbiology and i have numerous years of experience working in food production and supervisory. I have previously worked for KFC as a food supervisor where i train, supervise, formulate and enforce quality food production, top class meals and plan. i believe that my experience would be a great addition to your organization.

Look forward to hearing your favourable response.

Yours faithfully,

Lalas Fugee

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Mr Smith, I am writing you this letter as a follow...
^^^
Line 4, column 201, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
... Los Angeles from United Arab Emirates. we had a lengthy conversation about a job ...
^^
Line 6, column 47, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nterested in restaurant supervisory jobs and i would like to apply for the role o...
^^
Line 6, column 53, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ted in restaurant supervisory jobs and i would like to apply for the role of a f...
^
Line 6, column 147, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r in your branch in Warrnambool street. I read food Microbiology and i have nume...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 110, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ing in food production and supervisory. I have previously worked for KFC as a foo...
^
Line 8, column 170, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...rked for KFC as a food supervisor where i train, supervise, formulate and enforce...
^
Line 8, column 263, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: I
...d production, top class meals and plan. i believe that my experience would be a g...
^
Line 8, column 263, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...d production, top class meals and plan. i believe that my experience would be a g...
^
Line 12, column 18, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vourable response. Yours faithfully, Lalas Fugee
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
look, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 7.48453608247 27% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 4.92783505155 41% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 5.05154639175 119% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 32.9175257732 67% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 26.3917525773 91% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 3.85567010309 233% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 857.0 937.175257732 91% => OK
No of words: 172.0 206.0 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98255813953 4.54256449028 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62144681703 3.78020617076 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0891904474 2.54303337028 121% => OK
Unique words: 110.0 127.690721649 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.639534883721 0.622605031667 103% => OK
syllable_count: 262.8 290.88556701 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.13402061856 88% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 16.3608247423 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.0808542162 44.8134815571 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.7 76.5299724578 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2 16.8248392259 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.8 4.34317383033 18% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 2.54639175258 393% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 7.41237113402 94% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.94845360825 76% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184350936227 0.216113520407 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.065462800426 0.0766984524023 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0761036442314 0.0603063233224 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106549575397 0.12726935374 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106415775751 0.0580467560999 183% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 8.37731958763 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 70.7449484536 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 7.45979381443 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 8.71597938144 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 7.59969072165 104% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 41.2886597938 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 8.62886597938 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 8.54432989691 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.