During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. Talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter,•R

Essay topics:

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. Talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter,

• Remind him when and where you met

• Tell him what kind of job you are interested in

• Say why you think you would be suitable for this job

Dear Mr, Brown,

I am writing this letter with regards to the offer you provided me during our first sudden meeting last month. I hope you can remember me well. We first met in the flight while travelling to the UAE from Colombo last week.

I should say that I have enjoyed your companionship a lot and it was obviously an interesting time during my entire flight journey from Colombo to Dubai.

Refer to the possible job opportunities you mentioned in your restaurants, I am very much intriguing in the field of supply chain management. As I briefed during our conversation, I completed my first degree in the field of food science and followed my masters degree in Supply -Chain Management. I have vast experiences in the areas of Quality Assurance and Supply - Chain Management in food and beverage industry. I have been in these fields in major FMCG ( Fast moving consumer goods) and food and beverage companies in Sri Lanka for the past six years.

I believe that I have the required capacity to work in one of your restaurants in a senior executive level position. I can make an immense contribution to the upliftment and growth of your entire restaurant chain with strategic procurement activities which lead to reduce the cost in significant amounts without compromising the quality of the product or service.

I look forward to hearing a favourable response from you.

Yours Sincerely

Vajira Perera

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS General Training

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 458, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... have been in these fields in major FMCG Fast moving consumer goods and food and...
^^
Line 7, column 486, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n major FMCG Fast moving consumer goods and food and beverage companies in Sri L...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... in Sri Lanka for the past six years. I believe that I have the required capaci...
^
Line 9, column 118, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s in a senior executive level position. I can make an immense contribution to the...
^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he quality of the product or service. I look forward to hearing a favourable re...
^
Line 15, column 16, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... response from you. Yours Sincerely Vajira Perera
^^^^
Line 17, column 14, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...u. Yours Sincerely Vajira Perera
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, well, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 7.48453608247 27% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 4.92783505155 61% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 5.05154639175 158% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 32.9175257732 106% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 26.3917525773 140% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 3.85567010309 259% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1186.0 937.175257732 127% => OK
No of words: 239.0 206.0 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96234309623 4.54256449028 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.93187294222 3.78020617076 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84458244837 2.54303337028 112% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 127.690721649 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.610878661088 0.622605031667 98% => OK
syllable_count: 365.4 290.88556701 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.13402061856 131% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 12.6804123711 95% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 16.3608247423 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.772302091 44.8134815571 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.8333333333 76.5299724578 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9166666667 16.8248392259 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75 4.34317383033 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 2.54639175258 275% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 7.41237113402 94% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.94845360825 127% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16668270838 0.216113520407 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574560518385 0.0766984524023 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.050081847535 0.0603063233224 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787495598345 0.12726935374 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0209873165925 0.0580467560999 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 8.37731958763 142% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 70.7449484536 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 7.45979381443 127% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 8.71597938144 132% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 7.59969072165 111% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 41.2886597938 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 8.62886597938 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 8.54432989691 112% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.