you are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.
Write a letter to this friend. In your letter
- Give details of your study plans
- Explain why you want to get a part-time job
- Suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Dear James,
Hope you are doing great. It’s been a very long time since we both have met. But excitingly, we don’t have to wait anymore as I have received a confirmation of an offer of a place in Brisbane University for pursuing further study in Business. In fact, the reason I’m writing this letter to you is to get some help and valuable advice from you as you have been living in Brisbane for many years now.
Firstly, let me tell you that I will be studying a Diploma in Applied Management and Business which will finish in 4 terms over a period of one year. The diploma is an advanced course which will provide me with a great insight into the business world and will, definitely, train me up so I have some valuable tips that can help me in setting up my business career in the future.
Furthermore, I’m planning to work part-time while completing this course. As you already know, our financial conditions are not very sound currently, and this diploma has cost me a hefty amount of money. Fortunately, I’ve had a student loan sanctioned from the bank which helped me in depositing the fees for this course. I’m really hoping to get a job to be able to pay for my rental accommodation, food and other necessary utilities during my stay in Brisbane.
Now, as you are already settled in the city for a more extended period, I could not wait to ask you for your help regarding getting a job. Firstly, I need your help in creating an attractive CV for me as you are working as an HR professional and I’ll pay the fees for that as well if required. Additionally, please advise me about the job market in Brisbane so that I can prepare myself mentally for it. Moreover, would you be able to refer me to any placement agencies and some employers who are likely to hire me?
I’ll wait for your reply and hope to see you soon.
Best regards,
Ange
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 115, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to regard' or 'regard'.
Suggestion: to regard; regard
...could not wait to ask you for your help regarding getting a job. Firstly, I need your hel...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, moreover, really, regarding, so, well, while, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 7.48453608247 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 4.92783505155 183% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 5.05154639175 178% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.03092783505 264% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 48.0 32.9175257732 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 26.3917525773 152% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.85567010309 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1563.0 937.175257732 167% => OK
No of words: 342.0 206.0 166% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5701754386 4.54256449028 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30037696126 3.78020617076 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6008817129 2.54303337028 102% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 127.690721649 150% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558479532164 0.622605031667 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 493.2 290.88556701 170% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.13402061856 44% => OK
Article: 2.0 0.824742268041 243% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.463917525773 431% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 12.6804123711 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 16.3608247423 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.6198642646 44.8134815571 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.6875 76.5299724578 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.375 16.8248392259 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6875 4.34317383033 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 7.41237113402 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.94845360825 152% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308015571802 0.216113520407 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110370460245 0.0766984524023 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0894290152193 0.0603063233224 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181373581416 0.12726935374 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0763575272371 0.0580467560999 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 8.37731958763 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 70.7449484536 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 7.45979381443 122% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 8.71597938144 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 7.59969072165 103% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 41.2886597938 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 8.62886597938 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 8.54432989691 122% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 8.15463917526 135% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.