You work a part-time job in a company and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter say– Why do you want to apply?– What are y

Essay topics:

You work a part-time job in a company and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter say
– Why do you want to apply?
– What are your future goals?
– Why would it be beneficial for the company?

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing this letter to ask your approval to apply for the vacancy of a full-time medical represntative, which was advertised last Wednesday in Alahram newspaper.

First of all, I want to apply for this profession because I graduated from the Faculty of Pharmacy in 2010, and I have worked as a medical representative in Pfizer Egypt for two years. As a result, I have a relevant experience in this field, so I will be a competitive candidate for this profession.

Furthermore, I want to develop my selling and negotiation skills in order to be a unique team player in our company, SANOFI. For this reason, I have planned to attend many online training courses so as to enrich my knowledge in these areas.

my skills and experiences include initiating high-quality ethical relationships with healthcare professionals and managing a large-scale business with top hospitals in Cairo. Moreover, I spoke English fluently and I can work under stress. If you find my credentials suitable for this post, please write a letter of recommendation to SANOFI’s human resources department.

I very much appreciate your coöperation and understanding in this issue.

Yours sincerely,

Moustafa Ali

Votes
Average: 8.7 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing this letter to ask your app...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...last Wednesday in Alahram newspaper. First of all, I want to apply for this p...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...itive candidate for this profession. Furthermore, I want to develop my sellin...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 197, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... to attend many online training courses so as to enrich my knowledge in these areas. ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... enrich my knowledge in these areas. my skills and experiences include initia...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...ch my knowledge in these areas. my skills and experiences include initiati...
^^
Line 17, column 354, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...f recommendation to SANOFI's human resources department. I very much appreci...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...I's human resources department. I very much appreciate your coöperation ...
^^^^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion and understanding in this issue. Yours sincerely, Moustafa Ali
^^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...this issue. Yours sincerely, Moustafa Ali
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, moreover, so, as to, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.48453608247 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 4.92783505155 41% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 5.05154639175 119% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.03092783505 33% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 32.9175257732 85% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 26.3917525773 95% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.85567010309 130% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1063.0 937.175257732 113% => OK
No of words: 196.0 206.0 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.42346938776 4.54256449028 119% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.74165738677 3.78020617076 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.29755677354 2.54303337028 130% => OK
Unique words: 128.0 127.690721649 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.65306122449 0.622605031667 105% => OK
syllable_count: 323.1 290.88556701 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 16.3608247423 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5508829387 44.8134815571 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.3 76.5299724578 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6 16.8248392259 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 4.34317383033 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 2.54639175258 393% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 7.41237113402 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.94845360825 25% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22381622039 0.216113520407 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0794386106979 0.0766984524023 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702479307613 0.0603063233224 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114925277567 0.12726935374 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0774499846178 0.0580467560999 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 8.37731958763 166% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 70.7449484536 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 7.45979381443 143% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 8.71597938144 162% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.82 7.59969072165 129% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 41.2886597938 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 8.62886597938 162% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 8.54432989691 112% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 8.15463917526 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 87.0786516854 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.75 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.