It is contemplated by many proponents that art and music rejuvenate all the sets of community in an overwhelming manner; therefore, despite the emergence of technology in an exorbitant procedure, artistic culture and music channelize the emotions of mankind in a pre-eminent way. However, I do believe that instead of encouraging children to study art and music, they should be immersing themselves in more authenticated subjects.
Commencing with the most prominent reason, there is no doubt for some people technology has paved the way drastically; nonetheless, art and music not only validates the massive history of the nation but also reinvigorates the country’s economy. Owing to the massive artiste culture and heritage of the nation, it communicates with people about pre-historic times and reveals the magnificent culture of the society. Similarly, music also plays a pivotal role in reviving some of the countries' economies as it aligns the individuals from every community in a desirable way. This can be evidenced by the fact that in 2017-18 in the U.K, the music industry attributed 5.7 billion pounds in the overall GDP, while Australia's pop culture witnessed a vise of about a third in the overseas visitors visiting festivals and concerts since the last decade. Consequently, music and art hold a vital significance concerning the nation as well as society.
In spite of all the positives, children should not be allocated a multitude of time in learning these subjects unless they have inherited genetic attributes from their parents. In order to have a more successful career, studying these subjects at school will not aid children in attaining a suitable job. Every firm wants to recruit employees with sophisticated and imperative technical skills, whereas this would not be the situation in studying these subjects in school. Another reason why elementary schools should focus on subjects like math as well as science instead of opting for these subjects is, the former subjects will develop the cognitive skills, along with motorist ability of the students. This can be exemplified by the fact that in the U.S.A in 2007, after the recession period, approximately three-quarters of schools neglected art and music as a subject and voted for science and math as the control subjects for pupils. Hence, youngsters should not be forced to learn these subjects until they inculcate interest in acquiring fundamental knowledge about them.
In conclusion, even though art and music prove to be an indispensable factor in the empowerment of nation together with the society, in my perspective, juveniles should not invest their time heavily on these subjects rather they should opt for more essential courses for the betterment of career.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an overwhelming manner" with adverb for "overwhelming"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ic rejuvenate all the sets of community in an overwhelming manner; therefore, despite the emergence of te...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 259, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a pre-eminent way" with adverb for "pre-eminent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...usic channelize the emotions of mankind in a pre-eminent way. However, I do believe that instead of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...c also plays a pivotal role in reviving some of the countries economies as it aligns the in...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 553, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a desirable way" with adverb for "desirable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ns the individuals from every community in a desirable way. This can be evidenced by the fact that...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 632, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: K
...ed by the fact that in 2017-18 in the U.K, the music industry attributed 5.7 bill...
^
Line 5, column 759, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: A
...exemplified by the fact that in the U.S.A in 2007, after the recession period, ap...
^
Line 5, column 759, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'An' instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: An
...exemplified by the fact that in the U.S.A in 2007, after the recession period, ap...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, hence, however, if, nonetheless, similarly, so, then, therefore, third, well, whereas, while, in conclusion, no doubt, as well as, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 41.998997996 157% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2333.0 1615.20841683 144% => OK
No of words: 438.0 315.596192385 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32648401826 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96452637536 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 176.041082164 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541095890411 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 731.7 506.74238477 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 20.2975951904 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.9175170009 49.4020404114 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 166.642857143 106.682146367 156% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.2857142857 20.7667163134 151% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.9285714286 7.06120827912 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285193368874 0.244688304435 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106622379521 0.084324248473 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0660470769201 0.0667982634062 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188187420543 0.151304729494 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.057906808044 0.056905535591 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.3 13.0946893788 147% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.55 50.2224549098 63% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 11.3001002004 147% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.23 12.4159519038 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.04 8.58950901804 117% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 78.4519038076 172% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 21.0 9.78957915832 215% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.1190380762 142% => OK
text_standard: 21.0 10.7795591182 195% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.