The length of the working week does not reflect modern lifestyle needs It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families How far do you agree with this statement

Nowadays, the vast majority of people tend to have terrible work-life balance as a modern lifestyle demands more working hours despite abundant labour-saving devices. I firmly agree that working hours should be dramatically dwindled and dedicated to cherish the time with family and relish spare times. This essay will elaborate and justify this point of view.
The first reason of multifarious sake why time in workplace should be diminished is that offsprings’ upbringing is a crucial responsibility on the shoulders of parent. Many of parents have no idea their children how to spend their time. They have no enough time for supervision on their children’s acts and performance. In addition, lack of spending enough time for nurturing of kids causes their talents and abilities do not foster in long-run. For example, a parent cannot focus on weakness and strong point of their own children while they have a hectic schedule of working hours. Hence, the nurturing of children requires enough time to recognize their abilities and organize them.
The second reason in order to blame too much working hours is lack of closeness between family members which can have detrimental effects on family foundation and their mental health. If a person is more than necessary sank in his/her own work never can attain to allocated proper place in the house. For instance, a father in most of the case known as head of the family and has a heavy responsibility to be positive role models, when he is involved with over workload practically lifted out his/her own role. Family members due to this lack of closeness are influenced by peer pressure and television and internet while they try to fill this emotional vacuum. Therefore, the friendly and healthy family atmosphere and is consequently cherishing spending time with family.
The third reason in the necessity of reduction working hours is the increased inner calm. Dedicating spare hours to leisure time leads to creating the productive and creative mind. Ability in the organization of mental affairs leads to the accept more responsibility in societies . In addition, individuals continue their duties with less stress as an employee/citizen/parent. Hence, in order to possess a healthy and happy society, have to exist a life-work balance.
to sum up, my view is that decreasing the working times in order to spend more time with family and leisure time have a great impact on the development of a healthy society. This trend provides many advantages in favour of citizens such as the opportunity for offsprings' upbringing, friendly atmosphere in the home environment and subjective health of citizens.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (5 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 184, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ily foundation and their mental health. If a person is more than necessary sank in...
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Line 4, column 236, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...organization of mental affairs leads to the accept more responsibility in societies . In a...
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Line 4, column 279, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... accept more responsibility in societies . In addition, individuals continue their...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...ty, have to exist a life-work balance. to sum up, my view is that decreasing the ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, hence, if, second, so, therefore, third, while, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 41.998997996 157% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2240.0 1615.20841683 139% => OK
No of words: 430.0 315.596192385 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20930232558 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.20363070211 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99572353973 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 176.041082164 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537209302326 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 506.74238477 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 8.0 2.52805611222 316% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.8718485463 49.4020404114 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.666666667 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4761904762 20.7667163134 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.04761904762 7.06120827912 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283411144229 0.244688304435 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0840995266501 0.084324248473 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0570742981958 0.0667982634062 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165857614948 0.151304729494 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0484245688896 0.056905535591 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 13.0946893788 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.4159519038 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 78.4519038076 152% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.