Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Stars, particularly in recent years, have been known more for their luxury's lifestyle than their accomplishments as if tabloids are today full of the fringe news related to them. Similar to the most people, I completely agree that this trend may have negative impacts on youngsters.
In my opinion, young people are more likely to accept whatever they are able to see easily, without considering where it comes from. Having focused on the glamourous appearance of celebrities' lives, the media has wildly publicized this ideology that having this lifestyle is the only applicable way to be seen in the society. Consequently, followers, who are mainly teenagers, imitate the stars' way of life superficially. For instance, a large number of my friends are choosing to have cosmetic surgery to be similar their favorite actress. Clearly, if they were informed well about the way that their preferred stars went to achieve the current position, they would perhaps not just copy their appearance. This trend, gradually, makes society full of narrow-minded individuals far away the reality of the world.
At the same time, considering celebrities as role model may deter the young from education. In fact, it is obvious that a majority of TV personalities, sportsmen and actors, who are selected by young people as favorite star, did not have academic education or at best, graduated in an irrelevant field. Thus, they may convey this message to youngsters that education is not an effective factor to be prosperous, resulting in an increasing reduction in students' motivation. A good example is my niece; when he is asked about his goals, he immediately says that being a professional soccer player is his lifelong ambition. This easily illustrates that how wealthy well-known individuals' lives is attention- grabbing for young generation and unconsciously makes them to be sensationalist.
In conclusion, I believe that attaching greater importance to celebrities' charm than their achievements can influence the young negatively and make them to be shallow and unmotivated.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 437, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ay of life superficially. For instance, a large number of my friends are choosing to have cosmeti...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, if, may, so, thus, well, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 13.1623246493 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1746.0 1615.20841683 108% => OK
No of words: 328.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32317073171 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06072659564 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 176.041082164 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.618902439024 0.561755894193 110% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.7505237158 49.4020404114 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.714285714 106.682146367 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4285714286 20.7667163134 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42857142857 7.06120827912 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221238569085 0.244688304435 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0694662184005 0.084324248473 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.049424396023 0.0667982634062 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141929325957 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0443414021707 0.056905535591 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 13.0946893788 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 50.2224549098 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.78 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 78.4519038076 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 9.78957915832 158% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.