Nowadays children are experiencing increased educational, social, and commercial pressure. What is the cause of this effect? What is a solution to reduce the pressure?

Essay topics:

Nowadays children are experiencing increased educational, social, and commercial pressure. What is the cause of this effect? What is a solution to reduce the pressure?

Recently, children face the pressures related to education, social and commercial in their life. This happens because of the parents forcing them to compete each other. However, the more socialization among parents to avoid that action is required in order to minimize these pressures.
The tendency of parents in forcing their children to challenge each other is the main reason of these kinds of pressures. Children are pressed to be the figure that parents admire such as the smart people who study in exclusive schools. It can be seen that the high class families in Jakarta prefer to enroll their children in expensive schools because they believe that if the minors are taught in the more exclusive schools, the children will learn better, and the status of whole family will increase automatically.
The most effective solution to this issue is to convince the parents about the consequences if they continue their actions. The socialization in social media to make parents understand that forcing children to follow parents’ intention sometimes will be not good for children should be conducted by the local authorities. This campaign has been done by the Korean government to minimize these pressures among children so that they will be easier to develop themselves based on their preference.
All in all, the main point of why children are under the pressures is that their parents force them to compete each other, and the best way to solve this problem is to convince the parents about the future effects in social media.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 451, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...lusive schools, the children will learn better, and the status of whole family will in...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 10.4138276553 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1293.0 1615.20841683 80% => OK
No of words: 253.0 315.596192385 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11067193676 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.98822939669 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62755192544 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 132.0 176.041082164 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521739130435 0.561755894193 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 396.9 506.74238477 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.76152304609 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.1350932525 49.4020404114 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.3 106.682146367 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3 20.7667163134 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.4 7.06120827912 34% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172195322134 0.244688304435 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0796129928467 0.084324248473 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.045177152235 0.0667982634062 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120057782348 0.151304729494 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0302874484603 0.056905535591 53% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 13.0946893788 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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More content wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.