One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

Over the last hundred years medical scientists have been working on improvements in health care system. As a result, currently people at average are living much longer than couple centuries ago. There are several positive developments connected with the higher life expectancy, such as more time for spending it with relatives and for achieving targets. However, I believe that some drawbacks could outweigh advantages and should be considered.
First of all, the humanity always has been searching ways how to prolong life. Reasons for it are versatile and depend on individual circumstances, but in general a great deal of people hold the belief that additional years could help them to achieve desired goals, such as visiting places, where they have not been before, or earning more money for grandsons. In addition, overwhelming majority of people being at death door consider if they had few more years they would spend it with relatives.
Nevertheless, there are two major disadvantages of longer average lifespan. The main point is connected with the fact, that elderly people are receiving welfare and individuals who are in work age should pay higher taxes in order to cover those contributions. For example, in Japan over last twenty years the proportion of retired people has rose to approximately 52% of all citizens and the government was forced to increase pension tax, which is a burden on work force. The second drawback is lower life quality after 60 years, mainly because of deterioration of internal organs, as a result, a great deal of old people suffer from age illnesses, therefore, they spend time on treatments instead of either achieving goals or communicating with relatives.
In conclusion, even though there are some advantages of living longer, in my opinion disadvantages outweigh positive consequences due to lower life quality of elderly people and high governmental expenses connected with paying welfare to retired persons.

Votes
Average: 9.7 (4 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 28, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
Suggestion: has always been
...considered. First of all, the humanity always has been searching ways how to prolong life. Rea...
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Line 3, column 564, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ears, mainly because of deterioration of internal organs, as a result, a great de...
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Line 4, column 99, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ving longer, in my opinion disadvantages outweigh positive consequences due to lo...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, as for, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in general, such as, as a result, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 24.0651302605 58% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1651.0 1615.20841683 102% => OK
No of words: 312.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29166666667 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85937497193 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.608974358974 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 520.2 506.74238477 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 76.3472967578 49.4020404114 155% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.583333333 106.682146367 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 20.7667163134 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 14.3333333333 7.06120827912 203% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184210710688 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0696612354579 0.084324248473 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0540197212185 0.0667982634062 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128965832069 0.151304729494 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0725781500026 0.056905535591 128% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 13.0946893788 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 50.2224549098 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.