!Q!15. Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Recently, whether young people are eligible for crucial positions in the government has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that the young generation cannot deal with important positions related to the government such as presidents and ministers, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I believe that both arguments should be given equal weight. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, it seems difficult to refute the idea that young workers are capable of playing an important role in high positions. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that they are more likely to think flexibly since they are less conservative, compared to the old generation. This ability enables them to handle essential issues linked to their work more effectively. In addition, hiring young people in important positions makes it possible for other young workers to become motivated as they consider that they are able to become promoted. To exemplify, one recent article released by the Seoul Times illustrates that Kihun Lee, who was 35 years old in 2018, was promoted to vice president in the financial department of Seoul city hall, and this phenomenon exerted a positive influence on a multitude of young individuals in Korea.
On the other hand, it seems short-sighted to contend that young people are entitled to obtain important positions. The most oft-cited argument against such a view is that some of the specific departments in the government should hire the elderly to achieve their goals. As a brief illustration, some of the government officers who work in specific fields, such as professional soldiers and police officers, have to follow gruelling rules.
Thus, people's experience often takes priority over flexibility, and older people have a predisposition to have a huge amount of invaluable work experience. Furthermore, elderly employees cope with unpredicted situations with greater ease owing to their abilities resulted from a myriad of failures that they experienced. In lighted of the above, I also find these are persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, it can be concluded that each side of the debate has its strengths, as discussed above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 746, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...financial department of Seoul city hall, and this phenomenon exerted a positive i...
^^
Line 5, column 172, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ed argument against such a view is that some of the specific departments in the government ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 296, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e their goals. As a brief illustration, some of the government officers who work in specifi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, it can be concluded that each side of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, if, so, thus, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 41.998997996 138% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2003.0 1615.20841683 124% => OK
No of words: 378.0 315.596192385 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29894179894 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.20363070211 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87762232172 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 176.041082164 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579365079365 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 506.74238477 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.3924503925 49.4020404114 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.823529412 106.682146367 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2352941176 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05882352941 7.06120827912 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294886605143 0.244688304435 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810994542887 0.084324248473 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0655569992274 0.0667982634062 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138956244587 0.151304729494 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0879511844377 0.056905535591 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 13.0946893788 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.4159519038 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.45 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 78.4519038076 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.