Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore others subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is considered by some that only subjects which benefit children’s future career should be contained in schools’ curriculums. While I agree these subjects should be given high priority, I would argue that it is also necessary to teach music and sports in schools.
To begin with, there are several reasons why children should spend most of their time in schools to learn core subjects such as mathematics and foreign languages. First, because of the increasingly fierce competition in the labour market, children need to focus on subjects which could help them meet their career goals. For example, learning maths could improve some vital job-related skills namely critical thinking and problem-solving. If students neglect these subjects, they might find it difficult to get jobs in the future. Second, since the trend of globalization brings about opportunities for international jobs, children are required to put a great deal of effort into learning foreign languages, aiming to integrate into the global labour market.
However, I believe that schools should also teach music and sports because of some advantages. The first benefit is that learning music is an effective method to improve children’s memory and other cognitive functions. Meanwhile, playing sports not only promote better health but also improve children’s social skills. As the results, music, and sports significantly contribute to well-balanced development of children. Additionally, since children have the chance to be early in contact with music and sports, some of them would be distinguished as outstanding talents, which gives them more time to practice to become successful.
In conclusion, while teaching subjects which are beneficial to children’s future career is prioritized, music and sports also worth being taught because they play an important role in children's development.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 107, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to core'
Suggestion: to core
... most of their time in schools to learn core subjects such as mathematics and foreig...
^^^^
Line 3, column 611, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practice becoming'.
Suggestion: practice becoming
... talents, which gives them more time to practice to become successful. In conclusion, while teach...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, well, while, for example, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1611.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 286.0 315.596192385 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.63286713287 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11236361783 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09655411169 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597902097902 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 474.3 506.74238477 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.10420841683 333% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9673122568 49.4020404114 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.923076923 106.682146367 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.7667163134 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.15384615385 7.06120827912 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.357685504732 0.244688304435 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130812977954 0.084324248473 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.092164852849 0.0667982634062 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238667817559 0.151304729494 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0663692717616 0.056905535591 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 13.0946893788 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 12.4159519038 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.