Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essay topics:

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, as the development of humanity, music is an essential factor in daily life. it is the connection between people to people, the bridge helps to bring different cultures and ages together as some people say, and I do agree with this view.
First of all, music breaks the wall, removes the boundaries between people by giving a lot of melodies and emotions in rhythm. Thus, it defeats all the barriers of languages, cultures or races. For example, many Vietnamese are listening to Korea music without understand the lyrics, however, somehow it helps them to escape from stresses or depression, and because they love the music so they also love the styles, culture, food … from Korea. it is the same with Japanese music, or US, UK music in Vietnam. this helps people open mind to each other because they have the same tastes of music, that is why so many music clubs or fan clubs have been opened.
Furthermore, it is like a language of soul because when people are playing or listening to music they may feel connected and give them more passion on what they are doing. One of my friend is a guitar player, he was inspired by playing guitar with another while talking and sharing the same interests in music, for instance. Additionally, it is also a type of religion for some people because it helps them to express themselves better by their type of music such as, rock music, it is a type a music which help people express their personalities, their minds,… in a strong way. also music helps have faith in themselves, more confident, raises people’s spirit.
In conclusion, I believe that music is a crucial part of life no matter about ages , languages, cultures… it has always been a link, a connection and a bridge to help people around the world get closer together.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: It
...c is an essential factor in daily life. it is the connection between people to peo...
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Suggestion: It
...the styles, culture, food … from Korea. it is the same with Japanese music, or US,...
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Line 2, column 508, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...nese music, or US, UK music in Vietnam. this helps people open mind to each other be...
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Line 3, column 560, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , …
...express their personalities, their minds,… in a strong way. also music helps have ...
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Line 3, column 563, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a strong way" with adverb for "strong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ress their personalities, their minds,… in a strong way. also music helps have faith in themsel...
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Line 3, column 580, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Also
...alities, their minds,… in a strong way. also music helps have faith in themselves, m...
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Line 3, column 580, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...alities, their minds,… in a strong way. also music helps have faith in themselves, m...
^^^^
Line 4, column 83, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rucial part of life no matter about ages , languages, cultures… it has always been...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 7.85571142285 13% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 24.0651302605 129% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1482.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 313.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73482428115 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20616286096 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57291730228 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543130990415 0.561755894193 97% => OK
syllable_count: 461.7 506.74238477 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.76152304609 21% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.8291991699 49.4020404114 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.5 106.682146367 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0833333333 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3333333333 7.06120827912 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.01903807615 159% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316840249775 0.244688304435 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120707657431 0.084324248473 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11260706376 0.0667982634062 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220065196413 0.151304729494 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.10748830989 0.056905535591 189% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 50.2224549098 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.4159519038 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.58950901804 91% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.