Some people think that it is beneficial to do paid work while others think that it is harmful for children What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing paid work | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Some people think that it is beneficial to do paid work, while others think that it is harmful for children.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing paid work?

Although some people argue that doing paid work is advantageous, other people consider that it has drawbacks. Children can learn about the value of money and they can become self-independent but it has some drawbacks too.
Firstly, one of the benefit of doing paid work is that it teaches them the value of money. By doing paid work, children learn that money does not fall from sky and in order to get money they have to work hard. Secondly, another positive aspect of doing paid work is that students become self-independent. As an illustration, almost three quarter of the students in Bangladesh depend on family or bank loan for paying their school fees. Doing paid work enable them to pay their own fee which increases self-respect of the student.
On the one hand, one of the drawback of doing paid work is that it exposes them to child labor. To give a clear example, in many of the underdeveloped and developing countries students are not protected under labor law. For this reason, the employer forces them to do more than average amount of work but pay them less than they deserve. Another side of the issue is that paid work moves the students away from their academic work. Students are unable to pay full attention to their studies which affects their grade and this poor grade makes it harder for them to compete in job market.
To conclude, doing paid work has some positive aspects but it also exposes the children to child labor and moves them away from their academic work.

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Essay Categories

IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 24.0651302605 129% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1235.0 1615.20841683 76% => OK
No of words: 262.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71374045802 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02323427807 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46402056697 2.80592935109 88% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 176.041082164 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.561755894193 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 367.2 506.74238477 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 5.43587174349 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 20.4736806079 49.4020404114 41% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 95.0 106.682146367 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1538461538 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.61538461538 7.06120827912 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.360200939462 0.244688304435 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.16203332607 0.084324248473 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10757442528 0.0667982634062 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.262047123619 0.151304729494 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0454416033034 0.056905535591 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 13.0946893788 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 50.2224549098 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 78.4519038076 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments