Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is currently a contentious argument over whether the retirement age of workers needs to increase noticeably when the life expectancy of people has expanded in modern times. I totally agree with this opinion because of the status of the global population and the insurance of fluxing and independent financial resources for older people.
On the one hand, the main reason why I believe the working age need to extent because the number of the humans around the world have been plunged dramatically. More specifically, accordingly WHO reports, many states such as Korean, Japanese, Chinese, so on have announced that the total number of their residents are occurred a steady tumble, and the problem leads to the hazard of human extinction and the disaster of economy. For example, at a small island in Korea, there are 2000 people who have been living and from 2005 to 2015 the elementary school at the place received for 100-150 students per year approximately; however, in 2023, Amount of new learners only has 5 new students for grade 1 and the headmaster of the school did not celebrate First day of school ceremony in this year. Moreover, the government forces to report that if the situation still stay in a long time, the human resources will not supply enough for the companies and the needs of the development’s their nation in the nearly future. As a results, if people retired early and did not new policies for old-age pensioner, the risk of lacking manpower can lead to crisis economy for the state. After all, the expand of the worked age is the optimal choice maintains the financial level of the states where Amount of citizens have been decreasing.
On the other hand, another reason why I support the notion due to the fact that the stability of income and the independence of older people’s finance status will be effect more positive than when the working time is keep longer than. To be more precise, many people who work for some jobs related to economy, and labor-workers, farmers are not received pension from the state like paper-workers; as well as, their financial status will be unstable and even they cannot afford their routine activities. As a results, although older people have a good conditional health to work, they still need to have some economic supports from their sons, or relatives, and they are unintentionally being became a financial burden for their children thought and their government by the retirement policy. Therefore, increasing the age of worker is helping both the crisis of lacking HR in near future and the economy of whole states
In conclusion, I completely agree that when social development make the conditional health of people improve, and the working time of human need to maintain longer than in the past because of the status of population and the stability of incoming finance’s older humans. Given this situation, it seems that if the health of human improved and lived longer than, people need to work more time will be good for both social situation and themselves.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 826, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'reporting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: reporting
...s year. Moreover, the government forces to report that if the situation still stay in a l...
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Line 2, column 1020, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a result' or simply 'results'?
Suggestion: a result; results
... their nation in the nearly future. As a results, if people retired early and did not ne...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1185, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...risis economy for the state. After all, the expand of the worked age is the optimal choice...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a result' or simply 'results'?
Suggestion: a result; results
...not afford their routine activities. As a results, although older people have a good cond...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, after all, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 10.4138276553 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 41.998997996 157% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2537.0 1615.20841683 157% => OK
No of words: 513.0 315.596192385 163% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94541910331 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.20363070211 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67960082718 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 176.041082164 146% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.500974658869 0.561755894193 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 795.6 506.74238477 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.10420841683 285% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 39.0 20.2975951904 192% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.6173415382 49.4020404114 159% => OK
Chars per sentence: 195.153846154 106.682146367 183% => OK
Words per sentence: 39.4615384615 20.7667163134 190% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.3846153846 7.06120827912 175% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225115110289 0.244688304435 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.084643282713 0.084324248473 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.04191289075 0.0667982634062 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144842034187 0.151304729494 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289886006102 0.056905535591 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.6 13.0946893788 165% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.89 50.2224549098 63% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.5 11.3001002004 164% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.4159519038 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.57 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 78.4519038076 166% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.6 10.1190380762 174% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.