If you are given a chance to change what change would you implement in 21 century to make your world a better place to live Discuss a few changes

Essay topics:

If you are given a chance to change, what change would you implement in 21 century to make your world a better place to live. Discuss a few changes.

I state here that any single change in the universe has a great impact on our life in both ways, positive as well as negative. I have a few modification and amendments to make our world more useful for a better living. These are demonstrated below in this essay.

In this rampant age of modernism, the life of human from womb to tomb is completely surrounded with the machines. Majority of machines release toxic wastes, those are extremely dangerous for the environment. Hence, first of all, I wish to ban the usage of such machines and switch to eco-friendly technology which is also known as green tech, clean tech and environmental tech. Due to this modification, our atmosphere can be preserved through energy efficiency and the reduction of harmful waste. The latest natural science and green chemistry is applied to diminish the detrimental impacts of human activities on the earth such as global warming. As a consequence, we can protect the ozone layer of our planet.

Moreover, I would desire to alter the human lifestyle and revolutionize the usage of robots in unblemished manners. By cause of materialization, people are being dependent on devices and machines for every litter work as cleaning, cooking, travelling, writing. For instance, walking is being eliminated from our life through the various means of transport. Therefore, I would like to spread the awareness for the limited use of technology.

To sum it up, I would emphasis that the amendments in the twenty first century should be the solutions for the atmospheric problems resulted by extended usage of modern technology. Secondly, it is strongly required that the dependency on gadgets should be in an appropriate level.

Votes
Average: 6.9 (7 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 107, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...pact on our life in both ways, positive as well as negative. I have a few modification and...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 137, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun modification seems to be countable; consider using: 'few modifications'.
Suggestion: few modifications
... positive as well as negative. I have a few modification and amendments to make our world more u...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 59, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: twenty-first
...uld emphasis that the amendments in the twenty first century should be the solutions for the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 282, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gets should be in an appropriate level.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for instance, such as, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1429.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 280.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10357142857 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9868568388 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607142857143 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 459.0 506.74238477 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.4396609327 49.4020404114 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.2666666667 106.682146367 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 20.7667163134 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 7.06120827912 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0589997737644 0.244688304435 24% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0196488108733 0.084324248473 23% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0371484200314 0.0667982634062 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0426174041953 0.151304729494 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0371787452226 0.056905535591 65% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 13.0946893788 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 50.2224549098 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.4159519038 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.32 8.58950901804 109% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

If I get an opportunity to modify anything in this modern life then I can do a few modifications and amendments to make our world more useful for a better living. I believe that any single change in the universe has a great impact on our life in both ways positive and negative.There are some changes demonstrated below in this essay.

In this rampant age of modernism, the life of human from womb to tomb is completely surrounded with the machines.First of all, I wish to ban the usage of machines, which release toxic wastes, those are extremely dangerous for the environment and switch to eco-friendly technology which is also known as green tech, clean tech and environmental tech.Due to this modification, our atmosphere can be preserved through energy efficiency and the reduction of harmful waste. The latest natural science and green chemistry is applied to diminish the detrimental impacts of human activities on the earth such as global warming. As a consequence, we can protect the ozone layer of our planet.

Moreover, I would desire to alter the human lifestyle and revolutionize the usage of robots in unblemished manners. By cause of materialization, people are being dependent on devices and machines for every litter work as cleaning, cooking, travelling, writing. For instance, walking is being eliminated from our life through the various means of transport. Therefore, I would like to spread the awareness for the limited use of technology thus people can amend their routines in a better way. This change would be helpful to enhance their health.

To sum it up, I would like to mention that the eco-friendly technology and a slight change in the lifestyle can have beneficial effects on atmosphere as well as on human life. Secondly, it is strongly required to change the dependency on gadgets which should be in an appropriate level.