Writing Task 2 (an essay)Nowadays advertisements of toys and fast food mostly focus on children. Some think that eventually it affects both children and their family. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics: Writing Task 2 (an essay)

Nowadays advertisements of toys and fast food mostly focus on children. Some think that eventually it affects both children and their family. Do you agree or disagree?

jay.patel.4545's picture

Hello Sir,
Greetings for the day.!!

I am Divya, working in Marketing Department of your Anand branch, and come to know that management is about to change the working hours for our branch so I am writing this letter to propose some suggestions for the same.

As you know our current working hours 10 AM to 8 PM, but I would like to suggest new hours i.e. 8.30 AM to 6.00 PM. With the new hours employees will get habit to wake up early in the morning and can start a work with fresh mind and with energetic mood, and for the same employees will make the habit of early sleeping. It's a famous quote that if man wants to be healthy and successful he needs to follow one thumb rule that early to bed and early to rise so. One more thing, employees can leave the office hourly and spend some time with the family, by this way they can enjoy both professional as well as personal life and avoid workaholic lifestyle which is not good for employees and enjoy some leisure activities. We a new timing employees will be happy, more energetic and fresh and ultimately it's reflects in productivity of the organisation so it's a win-win situation for both.

Hope you consider my suggestion and forward the same to top management.

Kind Regards,
Divya

Votes: 
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)
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Post date Users Rates More about the essay
3 months 4 weeks ago jay.patel.4545 56 Read full essay
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Extensive reading & listening: - reading & listening can help essay writing
Intensive IELTS reading & listening from Cambridge:

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 321, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
... will make the habit of early sleeping. Its a famous quote that if man wants to be ...
^^^
Line 6, column 597, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...is way they can enjoy both professional as well as personal life and avoid workaholic life...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 853, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... in productivity of the organisation so its a win-win situation for both. Hope y...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, well, you know, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 13.1623246493 30% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 24.0651302605 87% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 41.998997996 62% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1028.0 1615.20841683 64% => OK
No of words: 227.0 315.596192385 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.52863436123 5.12529762239 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 4.20363070211 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4458425902 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 176.041082164 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.594713656388 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 307.8 506.74238477 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 16.0721442886 50% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.2975951904 138% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.9906244506 49.4020404114 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.5 106.682146367 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.375 20.7667163134 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.875 7.06120827912 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0497368338072 0.244688304435 20% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0213575832098 0.084324248473 25% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0211209806883 0.0667982634062 32% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0273156009188 0.151304729494 18% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0159849525319 0.056905535591 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 50.2224549098 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 11.3001002004 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.29 12.4159519038 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.58950901804 90% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 78.4519038076 50% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 9.78957915832 179% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.1190380762 130% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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