It is obvious that people are willing to experience different things in their lifespan and it is enjoyable for them. Undoubtedly doing various activities needs enough time, money, energy, and so on. In other words, different factors affect individual’s success in their intended task. I strongly believe that people who are trying to do too many diverse activities are not able to do all of them successfully and get good results in entire fields. In the following paragraph, I will discuss my view using some reasons and examples.
I think if people are looking to carry out many various tasks at the same time, it will prevent them from concentrating enough on all their activities. As a result, they are not successful in all affairs and cannot achieve their objectives. Furthermore, individuals who involve in different activities cannot assign enough time to each of their tasks. Therefore, they do not succeed in doing their whole jobs. They do not have opportunity to pay sufficient attentions to all affairs. That is, they are not able to satisfy their aims in some areas. For example, when I was a student at high school, in addition to doing school work I took part in different group activities and played football, and attended English learning classes. Therefore I could not concentrate on my studies effectively and unfortunately was not capable of fulfilling my goals and getting good grades.
Moreover, I believe that people have talent and ability in different areas. It is much better for them to follow their interests and avoid doing every activity. Most people who do various activities without any interest and sometimes with imitating from others cannot meet their desires. In other words, for the purpose of being successful in their work, it is necessary for persons to discover their talents and to assign their time, energy, and efforts to do their interested job. It is obvious that people who are engaged in different tasks do not have required abilities in all fields. Consequently, they will fail to do all affairs perfectly. For instance, my friend has specific talent in playing musical instrument; also, he was spending their time to play tennis. Hence, he could not win competitions in the field of music and decided to dedicate his time only to playing music because he had not talent as much as music.
To sum up, in my point of view, being busy doing diverse things will waste your time and energy and you cannot be successful in all areas. It is helpful for people dedicate their time and energy to their favorite activities. Thus, it helps them to achieve their goals and to get desirable results.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 734, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... and attended English learning classes. Therefore I could not concentrate on my studies e...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 299, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eir goals and to get desirable results.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, furthermore, hence, if, look, moreover, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, as a result, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2208.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 446.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95067264574 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68824636957 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484304932735 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 682.2 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2343387014 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.0 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5833333333 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241994903674 0.236089414692 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0833061615304 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0663904981674 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168110403969 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462799037986 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.