The company has 2 options to improve the working environment for employees,
1) Improve technology (computer)
2) Redesign office space (meeting room)
Which one do you choose?
Nowadays, more and more companies are not satisfied with their working environment, so they plan to make some changes to improve their environment. In my opinion, improving technologies such computers are better.
First of all, improving technologies can not only improve the working environment, but also facilitate employees’ activeness to work. once the technology in the company is improved, such as purchasing new computers or printers to substitute old slow ones, improving the speed of the network, workers would directly feel the changes in the working environment and refresh themselves to spontaneously concentrate on their projects. For example, my uncle John is working at a technological company related to computer network at Shanghai. last year, he usually complained his working environment about the slow speed and weak stability of the network and old computers, which considerably affect employees’ feelings. once his boss had heard of this situation, a large quantity of money was released to change the technology in the working environment. after purchasing new computers and faster network, employees became more active to work at there because they significantly felt attend from their boss and the new working environment stimulated their proactivity to face their novel unknown lives. thus, improving technology in the working environment could positively enhance employees’ activeness.
Furthermore, improving technologies could also provide the effectiveness of the work. In that the technology is improved, workers could effectively utilize these techniques to complete their jobs, and then the company would receive more benefits from the improvement. For instance, last summer vacation I worked at a company at Beijing. I joined in their software developing group to develop applications to customers by using computers to design and code. there were solely five computers and one old printer there, so fifty workers spent a myriad of time on waiting, which extensively slow down workers’ speed. after purchasing more computers and printers, every employee could utilize at least one printer and computer simultaneously. thus, we finished our project in advanced due to the improvement. Eventually, the product was sold pretty well and the company earns enormous profits.
new Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;background: white;mso-font-kerning:0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">In conclusion, improving the technology can not only facilitate worker’s activeness, but only enhance the effectiveness of working to bring considerable profits to the company.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Once
...ate employees' activeness to work. once the technology in the company is improv...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
...elated to computer network at Shanghai. last year, he usually complained his working...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Once
...erably affect employees' feelings. once his boss had heard of this situation, a...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
... technology in the working environment. after purchasing new computers and faster net...
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Suggestion: Thus
...vity to face their novel unknown lives. thus, improving technology in the working en...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
... by using computers to design and code. there were solely five computers and one old ...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
...ensively slow down workers' speed. after purchasing more computers and printers,...
^^^^^
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ne printer and computer simultaneously. thus, we finished our project in advanced du...
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Suggestion: New
...he company earns enormous profits. new Roman','serif'; mso-fare...
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Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...s enormous profits. new Roman','serif'; mso-fareast-font-family:宋体...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, so, then, thus, well, at least, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 43.0788530466 53% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2372.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 376.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.3085106383 4.8611393121 130% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 6.44638224049 2.67179642975 241% => Word_Length_SD is high.
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.537234042553 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 718.2 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.9 1.51630824373 125% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.1112007168 48.9658058833 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.777777778 100.406767564 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8888888889 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05555555556 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259831354963 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101639340587 0.076458572812 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0644311457784 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162621229596 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0769870466728 0.0645574589148 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 11.7677419355 159% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 25.8 58.1214874552 44% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 19.32 10.9000537634 177% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.