A D People often buy products not because they really need them but because other people have them | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

A/D: People often buy products not because they really need them but because other people have them.

Certainly, this is a fast-changing society thanks to the progress of science and technology, so a large array of new product keep emerging one after another. The speed of irritation is as quick as individuals can’t imagine. This trend triggers a fresh topic that the reason people purchase items is because of their feeling of envy to others, instead of their necessity. From my perspective, it’s my belief that the statement is plausible. Some reasons and examples are given below.

To begin with, individuals sometime let their vanity encroach their mind. In fact, with the increasingly fierce competitions in the society, people usually desire to equip themselves with the latest stuff such as fancy clothing, advanced electronics, expensive cars in order to not to be lagged behind by (inferior to others). Let’s imagine such scene: there isn’t particular dress code implemented, so some students coming from wealthy family prefer to wear clothes from well-known and luxurious brands, which provides them with sense of superiority over the rest of students. With each passing day, there will be a large number of ordinary students engaging in this trend of showing off because they don’t want to be squeezed out or looked down upon by others. In other words, blindly following the trend is the effort they make to better get involved in this friend circle. Some even ask their parents to handle their purchase on costly clothing due to their vanities. As a result, it is unhealthy to teenagers’ growth and form correct view on value of money.

In addition, expenditure oriented toward pleasing others is a feasible means of making money. Indeed, in business world, they usually turn the sports in to a form of networking and socializing with potential customers. Therefore, if individual would like to devote his or her money into the sports, he or she easily builds up a communicative bridge between the target cooperative partner and himself or herself. As a result, friendship is established which lubricates the negotiation someday in future. Take my uncle as an example, he is an entrepreneur and a senior golf-player. He once revealed to me that one of the reasons he plays golf not only drove by golf itself but also drove by the environment there where a wealth of successful executives also play golf. Even though golf itself is a relatively costly sport that helps people to show their social status, the value it makes outweighs the how much people spend, as there are chances to even earn more money.

In a nutshell, people do spend money because of other people since sometimes their mind are stuffed with vanity and they consider it is one of means that work out for making money.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 297, Rule ID: REASON_IS_BECAUSE[1]
Message: Probably an incorrect phrase. Use 'the reason 'is that''.
Suggestion: is that
...c that the reason people purchase items is because of their feeling of envy to others, ins...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...s. With each passing day, there will be a large number of ordinary students engaging in this tren...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1062, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd form correct view on value of money. In addition, expenditure oriented toward...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 493, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...hich lubricates the negotiation someday in future. Take my uncle as an example, he is an ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 897, Rule ID: THE_HOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'how'?
Suggestion: how
...al status, the value it makes outweighs the how much people spend, as there are chances...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 905, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...s, the value it makes outweighs the how much people spend, as there are chances to e...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, therefore, well, in addition, in fact, such as, as a result, in other words, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2265.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69398894246 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.58940397351 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 699.3 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.465518789 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.25 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.65 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156017128435 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0368569613481 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0527259288585 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110077636192 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0593745877062 0.0645574589148 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 86.8835125448 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.