“Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of allowing television advertising to be directed toward young children (aged two to five). Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.”
People's minds are transformed by what they see in their daily lives. TV shows are one of the key thing that shapes people from childhood as they grow up. TV programs such as advertisements sometimes command people's opinions about whether or not they will purchase the advertised merchandise; thus, it might not be great to encourage adults to keep watching them. Most importantly, advertisements should not be directed towards young children because television advertising may diffuse negative words and may be irrelevant to the children.
First, television advertisement may diffuse bad words, which can negatively affects the live of one's child. Children are extremely malleable people; thus, everything they see or hear is likely to be part of their behavior. Addressing television advertising programs to children will expose them to the danger of adopting manners from strangers, including people with insane characters. For example, at the age of 5, my cousin Matthew used to watch presidential campaign advertisements. In fact, the lesothian campain at the time had plenty of inappropriate words to use in public. Unfortunately, Matthew memorized many of them. Consequently, he kept on using them in front of adult. Many people were uncomfortable with the impolites words he would throw all the time. Because of watching advertisement, one can unknowingly copy bad habits from other people.
Second, most of advertisements are irrelevant to children. In fact, studies have shown that for an advertisement to be efficient, there is need to incorporate figures and people that the intended audience is familiar and would like to see. That is, company making cars for example will portray a wonderful day, the car in a impecable condition, plus a beautiful lady - in an undecent clothing. The lady is displayed to keep people interested about the products - in this case, cars. As more often the ladies are not decently dressed, this advertisement is irrelevant for young children. Even though advertising companies may claim that they will appropriate their products to young children, competition will make them go over the limits and portray irrelevant display, such as half-naked people pictures or illustration to children.
In conclusion, advertisement should not be appropriate to young children because competitions may lead advertising companies to display irrelevant images to children, which may negatively affect their lives. The example of car companies illustrates this. In addition, advertisement may diffuse bad words that may be detrimental to young children's lives.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 231, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ometimes command peoples opinions about whether or not they will purchase the advertised merch...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 98, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...hich can negatively affects the live of ones child. Children are extremely malleable...
^^^^
Line 3, column 10, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the advertisements') or simply say ''most advertisements''.
Suggestion: most of the advertisements; most advertisements
...ad habits from other people. Second, most of advertisements are irrelevant to children. In fact, st...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ill portray a wonderful day, the car in a impecable condition, plus a beautiful l...
^
Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ement is irrelevant for young children. Even though advertising companies may cl...
^^
Line 3, column 679, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... they will appropriate their products to young children, competition will make th...
^^
Line 4, column 310, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...advertisement may diffuse bad words that may be detrimental to young childrens li...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, if, may, second, so, thus, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2192.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.48 4.8611393121 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14039234138 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5375 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0638103097 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.6363636364 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1818181818 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77272727273 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184393413432 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.058294002818 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0566921228591 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128269668165 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0254074903719 0.0645574589148 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.21 10.9000537634 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.