Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Twenty-first century is the era of celerity. What they say and what they use all seem to bring a storm of public imitation. Some claims that it is the younger generation that is more susceptible to opinions of celebrities, not the older. As a young man myself who has witnessed surrounding imitation, I strongly support the view. The detailed discussion will be as followed.
First and foremost, it is undoubtedly that young people, especially juveniles have not yet developed a mature and sapient value system to make every judgement themselves, therefore tend to be affected by others. It pains me to admit that we young people are at a period of loss and confusion yet feel awkard and ashamed to reach out for help. Celebrities, like well-known entertainers and atheletes, seem to a qualified figure to chase after. Internet exacerbate the situation in that those famous people can post their thoughts and ideas whenver and wherever they want and teenagers have easy access to them with a clip of the mouse. Older people, on the other hand, has gone through thick and thin, during which they have already established their own value system and get ready for the future challenges.
Furthermore, celebrities are more appealing to the youth rather than older people. The fact is that temporary celebrities who enjoy fame and reputation are at a comparatively young age which is equivalent to that of the young generation. A peer similar of their age while dressed in fancy suits and achieve tremendous success is more compelling than repeating preach. Take the example of my cousin, Judy, who is a big fan of Taylor Swift. Judy' parents are rather concerned abouth the schoolworks of their daughter, who pursue her so-called music career all day long and barely quit school. However, miraculously changing her mind, one day Judy picked the homework again abruptly which shockens everyone. It subsequently turned out that Judy was engouraged by one of the presentation of Taylor and determined herself to enter the same university, New York University as her idol. It was definitely not an sole example or coincidence. Older generation, by contrast, are more mature than the current celebrity and relunctant to follow the instance of those who might not experience much as they did.
Nevertheless, a voice arises that nowadays the young man are stubborn creatures who are contary to the discussion above while the older people, to some extent more like anxious social climbers , are more willing to learn the lessons and cherish the valuable experience and suggestion from successful people. Ironcally, young man tend to exhibit their rude and presumptuous attitudes towards their family and teachers, namely the older generation. Meanwhile, older people will neglect and ignore suggestion from young man, which could be the famous one. The fact in essence explains the phenomenon why young people are more willing to listen to the ideas of the celecrity, who are around their age.
In a nutshell, young people are more willing to accept the ideas of the celebrity, while older people are likely to just ignore them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 453, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Internet) must be used with a third-person verb: 'exacerbates'.
Suggestion: exacerbates
...alified figure to chase after. Internet exacerbate the situation in that those famous peop...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 902, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...sity as her idol. It was definitely not an sole example or coincidence. Older gen...
^^
Line 7, column 81, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...ys the young man are stubborn creatures who are contary to the discussion above while t...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 193, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...extent more like anxious social climbers , are more willing to learn the lessons a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, well, while, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2613.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 514.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08365758755 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75224892832 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54280155642 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 830.7 618.680645161 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.9573598049 48.9658058833 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.875 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4166666667 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.83333333333 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.121121577983 0.236089414692 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0334660598285 0.076458572812 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0324707917013 0.0737576698707 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0640434264672 0.150856017488 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0306383078106 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 86.8835125448 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.