Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this sophisticated and progressive world, where we are living, governments are the most important parts of our societies. There has been a controversial debate among politicians and people as to whether government should invest money in art rather that spending money in supporting Olympic teams and athletes. As far as I am concerned, governments should spend more money in athletics field, and two reasons to support my view are presented as follows.
To begin with, spending more money on Olympic teams, societies will take the advantage of popularity. It is not a secret to anyone that advocating athletes is an opportunity for a country to reveal itself to the world and be well-known since Olympics and other kinds of global competitions are being seen and followed by the majority of people living in every corner of the globe. When governments support heroes and athletes, they will feel qualified enough to be winners, as a result, they will make the most of their efforts to make their countries proud of them. Obviously, different countries will be known in these kinds of competition and it is more likely that tourists will be interested in traveling to countries having good performances in Olympic. Communities therefore have a chance to improve and boost their economic since tourists are being considered an important factor of economic development and prosperity. No longer will governments have difficulty providing enough money to support other practical projects like arts.
Furthermore, doing this, spending money in support of athletics rather than arts, new talented people will be emerged. It is crystal clear that when people are supported by others, they do not afraid of failures and it encourages other individuals to pursue their dreams even if it is hard to achieve. Thus, juveniles that are interested in being an athlete will not have fears and they can overcome every challenge because they know that the government believes them. In this vein new capacities will be discovered, meaning there are more opportunities to be successful. To put it in more vivid picture, my uncle had a dream of being an athlete, unfortunately he was so afraid of entering in this field since nobody supported him, after two years when government enact that there should be an investment for supporting athletes, my uncle followed his desire and became a very famous and important person in basketball. Had the government not spent money for advocating such sports, my uncle would not be famous and he would not be flourished.
In sum, having aforementioned examples and reasons into account, not only will people experience living in an affluent society, they will also have a chance to follow their dreams and be successful.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: WHETHER
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
...ial debate among politicians and people as to whether government should invest money in art r...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, so, therefore, thus, well, as to, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 15.1003584229 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2354.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18502202643 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85081937476 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502202643172 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 724.5 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.0723790577 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.125 100.406767564 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.375 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.1875 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238412038687 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.097703816407 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0846642256634 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16266932896 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.09363880665 0.0645574589148 145% => OK
automated_readability_index: 17.2 11.7677419355 146% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.