Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The issue of whether the government should devote more financial support in the art field compare with the athletic aroused much controversy among people of different ages and different perspectives. Definitely, some people if were asked would agree with the statement that the arts deserve more financial aids than athletic, while others have a negative attitude toward this point of view. As far as I am concerned, I postulate, the government should invest more budget on athletic in comparison to the art. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on the arguments to support my view.
The first vital point to be mentioned is that athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic bring not only joyful but also economic advantages toward our country. As such contests like Olympic broadcast by many television channels to satisfy the sporty people demands, therefore, this event captures more attention of people around the world to our country and they would be curious about our country which may encourage them to travel to our country. For instance, after that one of our athlete in wrestling won a gold medal in previous Olympic, the statistical results showed the number of tourists that visited our country escalate on an unprecedented scale which bring a lot of money from improving tourism economy. Because of this, athletics are qualified for more financial support.
In approaching this issue, apart from the reason given above, another reason that deserves some words is that by investing in this field governments prove to the society they care a lot about sports and related activities, therefore, more youngsters encourage to follow they favorite game to become win and drive benefit from this support. As you know, youth is the sensitive period of everyone’s life, because young people have a lot of energy to burn, if they are not occupied in useful activities like doing exercise, they might ruin their life by spending their time with devastating acts like drinking alcohol and consuming drugs. However, by providing updating facilities and determining rewards for national athletes, youngsters motivate to participate in gym and schedule for their future.
By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I am of the opinion that government should allocate more amount of money in athletic rather than arts, as it can improve our economic condition by increasing the number of tourism that attracted to our country after winning the contests. Moreover, investment in this field motivates young people to spend most of the time in the gym as they live in the vulnerable period of their lives.
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- TPO 14 Q1 80
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 261, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO
Message: Did you mean 'following'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
...s, therefore, more youngsters encourage to follow they favorite game to become win and dr...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, while, apart from, for instance, such as, you know, by the way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2212.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 428.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16822429907 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73623569214 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546728971963 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 702.0 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 86.0488371035 48.9658058833 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 170.153846154 100.406767564 169% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.9230769231 20.6045352989 160% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.46153846154 5.45110844103 174% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259089007293 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0948795847588 0.076458572812 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580972952483 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149871638311 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0719658351148 0.0645574589148 111% => OK
automated_readability_index: 19.4 11.7677419355 165% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 58.1214874552 67% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 10.1575268817 156% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.36 8.01818996416 117% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 86.8835125448 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.