Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Young individuals are a crucial part of our society. Youth are at serious age that if communities cannot guide them appropriately, they may face severe problem during their life. Some people believe that young children do not be affected by movies and television at all negatively, while other hold an opposite view and refute this thought. In my opinion, movies and television have less positive effect than negative effects on behavior of young people for two noticeable reasons.
The main reason is that all commercial advertising on television try to persuade youth to purchase more luxurious stuff that really cause to change their method life negatively. As over time, human's life have been undergone by different way such as advertising on television. In the past, people lived very simple and also they could get married easily, whereas now young people be affected by advertising on television that cause them not to convince by simple life. For example, now I am 20 years old and live in contemporary time that everything change fast. A few days ago, when I decided to get married with a girl who was very simple. Fortunately, our families accepted to buy a small house with little facility. However, she became angry that why did not have lavish equipment such as good Cleaner. Unfortunately, one of the commercial advertising led her to change his mind. This event cause us to end our relationship which was very hard. This experience taught me that young people should avoid to watch television if they want to have excellent life.
Another reason is that some movies on television are not suitable for youth that really can effect their mood negatively. Every broadcast has different essence for different age. If young people watch bad movies that are very offensive, they become wild mood that in fact impact on society indirectly. For instance, when I, who was very silence manner, was in high school, one night I saw a documentary about fight in Iraq. It was really fearful for me because I never see this circumstance in advance. I remember that I could not sleep and cause me to react everything that approached me inadvertently in order to save myself. Unfortunately, next morning when I was playing with my friend who bothered me occasionally, I broke his head because I learned from that program from television. These events led me to be fired from school where the best place in my hometown. As you can see, if I had not watched that broadcast, I never would have hurt not only myself but also others.
In conclusion, negative effects of movie and television are very drastic on behavior of young children. Not just do their life be changed, but also their mood become more aggressive. Parents should protect their young children from watching any program on television.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'changing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: changing
... more luxurious stuff that really cause to change their method life negatively. As over t...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, so, whereas, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.0286738351 218% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 473.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94291754757 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70725234434 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532769556025 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 742.5 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.1664667007 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.9230769231 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1923076923 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210130277884 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0570536345074 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0768908137233 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145850157612 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0592885322567 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.